I have to settle.
But this is just not true.
Heres why its not.
Jared Sluyter
Have you ever being shopping for a new car?
You do the research for the car you want, say its a Mazda 3.
But imagine your mindset was good men are everywhere.
Guess what, you will almost immediately start to notice good men everywhere.
Get good at filtering the time-wasters and focus purely on men who are worth your time and investment.
Your brain has evolved to be quick at making snap judgment about people based on past experiences.
Jared Sluyter
The last guy you dated was divorced and had commitment issues.
He would only call and set up plans once a week.
He wouldnt invite you to meet his parents.
He wouldnt invite you to meet his kids.
Hed grow cold and distant for a day without warning.
Is that really wise?
Is all divorced men non-committal and have commitment issues?
I think logic would tell you, of course not!
But its funny how quickly our brain will make gross generalizations like this.
I know you want a shortcut and this is your way to avoid pain in the future.
But lets get real.
Cutting out 20-40% of the available dating pool is probably not smart.
Making smarter decisions in the initial dating stage will help you get smarter in this regard.
Heres a funny thing about human nature.
Your body isnt going to agree with you.
In the early stages of dating, in love really means infatuation.
Thats how some women get trapped in a lose/lose situation.
You dont want to be strung along by a guy for years, and have it go absolutely nowhere.
Most women derive their sense of self-worth and confidence based on how men treat them.
Or more importantly, how the important men in their lives treat them.
And thats going to be baggage you will bring to your next relationship.
Dont do that to yourself.
Cut him loose and regain your sense of self-worth.
Ive seen this time and time again.
You get involved with a bad guy.
Your friends know this and tell you so (if theyre a good friend they should anyway).
You ignore them or defend the guy, or agree with them, but continue to ignore their advice.
Once you push your friends away, you will feel miserable.
Because you feel miserable, it starts to affect your productivity level at work.
And then it will seep into your relationship with family.
And then before you know it, your whole life is falling apart over one guy!
Relationships operate from the inside out.
Put a stop to overanalyzing and keep it simple stupid.
If he doesnt ask you out, he doesnt want to ask you out.
If he doesnt ask you to be his girlfriend, he doesnt want you to be his girlfriend.
If he doesnt want to commit to you, he will not commit to you.
If he doesnt want to marry you, he wont ask you to marry him.
Now, just because he doesnt do any of the above right now, doesnt mean he never will.
It should happen within a reasonable amount of time.
If it doesnt, you should probably cut him loose.
Also, use your common sense.
These are tools you use to make the situation tolerable.
They are also a way to keep emotional distance so you wont get hurt.
Actually, Id say worse.
At least in the case of a relationship, you would have had moments of proper intimacy and closeness.
You may think the blame is on him.
But he isnt the one hurting you.
You hurt yourself by staying.
Sometimes, this kind of self-realization is really tough to admit.
So be kind to yourself.
Say affirming, positive, uplifting things about yourself.
So you may have found the most perfect guy for you.
He fits what you want in nearly every category.
Hes intellectually, spiritually, emotionally and physically everything you want in a man.
He excites you in every way…
EXCEPT in one or two areas.
Even though a guy is perfect, if he cant commit, he is still the WRONG guy.
But before you think its a fail, think again.
If you knew Mr. Wouldnt you like to find love and happiness sooner rather than later?
I should hope so.
So what have we learned today?
it’s crucial that you drop the non-committal, emotionally unavailable guy yesterday!
