Youre not alone and you will survive this no, thrive from this I promise.
By
Updated 4 years ago,March 25, 2021
Breakups are hard.
If youre going through one right now, I feel you.
Zane Grunska
But just hang in there.
Here are 10 solid steps to guide you through your healing process:
1.
Go No-contact
The first step you should probably do immediately is to go no-contact.
As far as youre concerned, your ex is technically dead.
This step is the most crucial step in your healing process.
You become emotionally affected by their words and actions and this bond doesnt stop simply because the relationship stops.
But it doesnt mean you should be back with them.
Over time, your brain wont associate them with reward anymore and your internal reward system will reset.
Its undeniable that cutting contact with your ex cold turkey is challenging.
Right now, youre no less than an addict whose supply just got cut off.
Of course, this is all bullshit.
You will live on and you will become even stronger.
You tell yourself that this is what you must do, regardless of reasons.
Simply put,just do it.
Release Your Feelings And Emotions
After you go no-contact, its all about tending to your feelings and emotions.
In the first few weeks or months, you will experience intense withdrawal from your ex.
Its very critical that when you feel something, you dont fight it.
Theres no right or wrong way to feel.
Whatever it is that runs through your body, its okay.
Your feelings are valid.
Even if its a negative feeling or dark thought, dont shame it.
Let it be and it will dissolve in its own time.
In a nutshell, everything is allowed.
Think of yourself as having a bad cold.
you should probably sweat it all out and simply just rest.
Allow Yourself To Mope Around
Now, give yourself permission to be a complete loser.
You dont even have to move on right now.
You have every right to be an emotional mess after your breakup.
Set it to one week or one month, for example.
Mark the deadline on the calendar.
Be realistic and generous and take your overall lifestyle into consideration.
When the day comes, you will need to get your life back up and running again.
Its time to be intentional about moving on.
Show up for yourself every day; be your own coach and cheerleader.
You dont have to rush it.
Theres no timeline for grief brought on by a failed relationship or a lost connection.
For some people, it takes them a few months to fully get over their ex.
For others, it might take a lifetime.
On some days, you feel nothing, and on others, you cant stop reminiscing about the past.
Start A Committed Relationship With Yourself
If youve made it this far, congratulations.
From here on, its all about you, your own happiness, and your dream life.
Pick up a new fun hobby.
Talk and listen to yourself attentively.
Respect your own feelings and boundaries.
Set a daily schedule.
Nurture the relationship with yourself the way you wished your last relationships could have been.
Youll thank god that it did.
This will help build your self-esteem and confidence and instill in you a sense of hope again.
You owe it to yourself to listen closely to your body and heart and do whats good for you.
At the same time, you better ruthlessly cut off things that make you feel anything less than positive.
You must have zero tolerance for bullshit and toxicity.
Just ask yourself these questions:Does it make you feel good?
Does it make you feel good about yourself?
If youre creative and have some editing skills, you could even turn those goals into a vision board.
Remember that its no longer about your ex or your past relationships.
At this stage, its about you and your needs and wants.
This reflection time might take a day or even months or longer.
The lessons might come in waves or suddenly pop up at random moments.
Regardless, youll be wiser and better for it.
Now go and celebrate a new, exciting, and wonderful chapter of your life!
