Good luck with that, youre going to need it.
It sounds harsh, but trust me, I get it.
I spent years dating people with low self-esteem and I learned a lot along the way.
Tobi
Many of us have been there.
Youre convinced youre the one who can finally help/fix/change them.
Youll feel this way especially if youre a highly sensitive, giving and emphatic person.
But you cant change them.
Experiencing insecurity is normal it can even be healthy if it leads to self-improvement.
A man may be unhappy with his body, so he joins the gym and changes his diet.
Heres why you should think twice about dating somebody with low self-esteem:
1.
They dont love you.
Lets start with this.
Sure, they can tell you they love you one hundred times a day, but do they?
How can they if they dont know how to love themselves?
They will seek attention elsewhere.
No matter how much love and care you display, it will never be enough.
They can be extremely jealous.
Maybe they want to snoop through your phone or make you delete your ex from Facebook.
Maybe theyll resent you for spending time with your family and friends.
If an individual with low self-esteem feels threatened by somebody else, they will lose their shit.
They dont feel worthy, so they will drag you down to their level.
They enjoy other peoples failures way too much.
This is similar to the above point.
They may enjoy seeing you suffer over them.
Messed up, right?
Seeing you go through hell for them can make them feel temporary worthiness.
Oh, theyre bending over backward for me, I must be worth it.
Look at how crazy Im making them, they must really care about me.
Its cruel and pointless.
Theyll see criticism and rejection even when there isnt any.
Defensiveness is this persons natural coping mechanism and it will be alert at all times.
They have terrible communication skills.
Many experts say good communication is the key to a long-lasting relationship.
Their negativity will drain you.
Do they take action to fix their problems?
Do they find the root causes of these problems to stop them arising again?
Also, be wary of someone who doesnt ask how youre doing once in a while.
You deserve someone who can make you happy.
A person with low self-esteem can cause a huge amount of distress and harm to you.
Will I be happy?
Is this person really worth it?
I really do understand.
You want to step in and reverse all the damage this person has endured.
However, you better realize that you cant change people.
Self-esteem issues are complicated and are there for all kinds of reasons.
Only someone going through the problem can resolve these issues.
If you really feel the need to help, do so at a distance.
You are not being selfish.
You are simply loving yourself and protecting your own well-being.
