Sometimes recovery isnt just healing but rather someone else learning to love your scars.
You both love the same person.
When you are in one of these relationships its hard to see the actual effect it has on you.
Derrick Freske
But it becomes clear when you begin to date again.
Theres this uneasiness not just about others but about yourself.
It takes a very special man to show you what you never deserved in the first place.
Hes confident in you.
Your confidence had been completely shaken.
Not only do you doubt others but you doubt yourself for the choices you made.
You wonder will this person deceive you?But your doubt is met with confidence.
He works to build your trust.
In your last relationship, it wasnt built on trust.
It was built on an unstable ground of high intense emotions where everything was always your fault.
Where cheating, (if it happened) was a result of you not pleasing him.
Where him losing his shit was triggered by something you did.
You didnt trust what he said because the relationship was built on uncertainty.
But with this new guy, hes patient.
Hes kind all the time.
The unbalance of everything left you confused.
He wants to hear what you have to say.
Every conversation resorted back to your ex.
The amount of times he used the word I made you cringe.
But now you find yourself talking about yourself more to someone who wants to listen.
Someone who asks questions and cares about knowing about your interest.
Cares about learning about your past.
But more than that cares about not repeating the mistakes someone else made.
He apologizes when he is wrong.
You might be used to always saying sorry even when you werent at fault.
But in a new relationship, you wonder about the first fight.
You attempt to apologize and overcompensate.
But there are three unfamiliar words you havent heard ever in the past, I was wrong.
You were always trying so hard for that person and everything you ever did fell short of unrealistic expectations.
No matter what you did it was never enough.
But more than that, the person never reciprocated anything you had to give.
But here is someone buying you flowers because they feel like it.
Surprising you on dates.
Constantly reminding you what it is you deserve and that they value your time and attention.
Someone who comes out of a narcissistic relationship does not expect much at all.
Their expectations in another person are so low its heartbreaking.
Hes not boastful or bragging or has an inflated ego.
His accomplishments arent something he flaunts.
And as you praised him more and more it just fed into his ego.
Hes positive and upbeat.
Narcissists thrive on negativity and drama.
They put themselves in the center of it often creating problems just to see how people respond to it.
But now you find yourself not overcome with issues or problems.
He doesnt manipulate you or throw guilt.
Narcissist men are kings of control.
When you are in a relationship with one, you realize how careful you have to be.
Its like walking on eggshells with them.
And they always know exactly what to say to make you feel bad.
They use words as daggers to control you and make you feel bad.
So when you enter a new healthy relationship you realize normal people arent like this at all.
You learn that relationships are a 50/50 thing.
He teaches you what love really is.
You realize love isnt sacrificing your self-respect to be what someone else needs.
You realize love is someone meeting you halfway.
Love is someone always caring.
Love is someone who enjoys your company as much as you enjoy theirs.
Love are three words you say and you dont wonder if youll hear it back.
But it takes an even stronger one to walk away.
