Who doesn’t appreciate a good funny joke?
Here is a list of some funny and cute jokes to tell your boyfriend.
I mean, who doesnt appreciate a good funny joke?
Priscilla Du Preez
Here is a list of some funny and cute jokes to tell your boyfriend.
Sometimes you’re gonna wanna add some dirty, silly humor to the relationship!
This might sound cheesy…But I think youre grate.
I like you butter than anyone!
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
Do you like sales?
Because clothing is 100% off at my place.
Youre like a Sharpie… Superfine.
On a scale from 1 to 10, youre a 9… and Im the 1 you need.
It may sound cheesy…
But youve stolen a pizza my heart.
Youre beautiful has U in it, but quickie has U and I together.
Your boyfriend doesnt get your fruit puns?
You got to let that mango.
Is your name Google?
Because youve got everything Im searching for.
Ive had an off week, but seeing you always turns me on.
I wish you were my big toe.
Then I would bang you on every piece of furniture at my house.
I know youre busy today, but can you add me to your to-do list?
They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth.
Well apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.
Funny Jokes That Are Also Pick Up Lines
You are like my asthma.
You just take my breath away.
Hot, and I want you every day.
I love you with all my butt.
I would say my heart, but it is just not as big.
Guess whats on the menu?
Even though there arent any stars out tonight, youre still shining like one.
Are you a magician?
Because whenever I look at you, my clothes and the rest of the world disappears.
I think I am going to need knee surgery.
Every day I am with you, I fall for you all over again.
Who knew I would be an organ donor so early in life?
I already gave my heart to you.
Despite the contradictory advice circulated in the late 90s…
If you want to be my lover, c’mon do not get with my friends.
I think you are suffering…from a lack of vitamin me.
I feel the whole zoo when I am with you.
Do you know what I did last night?
I looked up at the stars, and matched each one with a reason why I love you.
Do you like Star Wars?
Because Yoda only one for me!
You: I dont think we can go in here.
Him: Why not?
You: Look at that sign!
point to the no-smoking sign They wont let you and your smoking hot bod in!
You: Theres something wrong with this dictionary.
Him: What is it?
You: They spelled L wrong.
It should be L-U-V, because I know I cant spell love without U!
You: I think theres something wrong with your lips.
You: Theyre not kissing mine!
Funny Love Jokes For Valentines Day
Knock, knock.
Olive you, and I dont care who knows it.
Boyfriend: Do you have a date for Valentines Day?
Girlfriend: Yes, February 14th.
Girlfriend: I Have 2 words to tell you.
Girlfriend: I love you.
Boyfriend: Isnt that 3?
Girlfriend: No, because You and I count as one.
You annoy me more than I ever thought possible.
But I want to spend every irritating minute with you.
I love you more than coffee.
But just dont make me prove it.
Even when Im really, really hungry.
Every day, I fall in love with you more and more.
Except for yesterday, yesterday you were pretty annoying.
Why are boyfriends like parking spaces?The good ones are already taken!
Whats the difference between a boyfriend and a condom?Condoms have changed.
Theyre no longer thick and insensitive!
Me: I love you.
You: Is that you or the wine talking?
Me: Its me talking to the wine.
A couple is on a date at a fancy restaurant.
The woman tells the man to say something to her that will get her heart racing.
He replies, I forgot my wallet.
Boyfriends are cool and stuff.
But have you ever had garlic bread with cheese?
Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me.
Then I remember,Oh I put up with you.
Never laugh at your girlfriends choices.
Youre one of them.
What do a boyfriend and mascara have in common?They both run at the first sign of emotion.
Whats the difference between a toddler and your boyfriend?I dont know, do you?
How do boyfriends exercise on the beach?By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
Girlfriend: I dreamed I saw you in a jewelry store and you were buying me a diamond ring.
Boyfriend: I had the same dream, and I saw your dad paying the bill.
Funny Jokes About Ex-Boyfriends
Relationships are a lot like algebra.
Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
Boyfriends are like blue jeans.
They look good for a while but, eventually, they fade and have to be replaced.
It was so hot today…I almost called my ex-boyfriend to be around something shady.
What do you call a man made out of garbage?
Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying about them getting there safely.
My Ex texted me: I MISS YOU…
Ever looked at your ex and wondered Was I drunk the entire relationship?
Going back to your ex is like reading a book you have already read.
The outcome will always be the same.
Love is like having to pass gas.If you force it, you are going to make a mess.
Who wears the pants in our relationship?We prefer it when neither of us is wearing pants.
Whats the difference between Oooh!
?About three inches.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?How do you breathe through that tiny thing?
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?Beef strokin off.
What do you call an expert fisherman?A master baiter.
Whats the difference between love, true love, and showing off?Spit, swallow, and gargle.
What did the sperm bank receptionist say to the clients before they left?Thanks for coming!
How is life like a penis?It sometimes get hard when you least expect it.
Why does Santa have such a heavy sack?He only comes once a year.
What does the ghost call his true love?My ghoul-friend.
What did the butcher say to his girlfriend on their first date?Nice to meat you.
What did one boat say to the other boat?Are you interested in a little row-mance?
Why is Spider-Man a bad boyfriend?Hes super clingy.
Why shouldnt you fall in love with a pastry chef?Hell dessert you.
Whats the difference between love and marriage?Love is blind.
Marriage is an eye-opener.
Why should you not marry a tennis player?Because love means nothing to them.
How did the telephone propose to its girlfriend?He gave her a ring.
Why do painters always fall for their models?Because they love them with all of their art.
Why is kayaking such a good first date?Its a great way to start a row-mance.
Owl always love you!
There were two antennas who met on a roof and they fell in love and decided to get married.
The ceremony was nothing fancy, but you could tell that they had a very strong connection.
Classic Two-Line Jokes About Love and Dating
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend.
He keeps asking for another shot.
You are just like my car.
You drive me crazy.
My boyfriend accidentally poked me in the eyes.
So I stopped seeing him for a little while.
I invited my boyfriend to go to the gym with me, and then I didnt show.
I hope he gets the message that were not working out.
My boyfriend isnt allowed to have birthday candles on his cake.
Like, WTF are you wishing for?
All your dreams came true with me!
My boyfriend likes to eat vegetables that look like him for dinner.
Good thing hes a cute-cumber.
A T-Rex told his girlfriend, I love you this much, as he stretched out his arms.
To which the girlfriend replied, Thats not very much at all!
Sometimes I look at my boyfriend and think…Damn.
He is one lucky man.
My boyfriend started a bee farm to help save the bees.
I think hes a keeper.
Before long, a giant snake jumped out and bit the boyfriends right on his penis.
Since no one was around to help, his girlfriend Marie, called 9-1-1.
I need your help!
My boyfriend got bitten on the penis by a snake.
Calmly, the doctor said, Maam, youre gonna have to suck the venom out yourself.
yo, doctor, there has to be another way to get rid of the venom!
Sorry, the doctor insisted.
Theres nothing we can do.
Marie goes running back to her boyfriend, who is writhing in pain.
So, what did the doctor say?
Pausing for a minute, Maria replied, The doctor said youre going to die.
Unfortunately, the florist was sold out of flowers and had only a few stems of feathery ferns.
The husband asked the florist to make a bouquet out of the ferns and the flask of liquor.
He added a card and proceeded home.
After a romantic candlelight dinner, he presented his wife with the gift.
She opened the card to read, Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.
