Chuck Norris jokes are hilarious.
Whether you’re a fan of his or not, you might appreciate the humor.
See for yourself below!
Gemma Chua-Tran
By
Updated 4 years ago,July 6, 2021
Chuck Norris jokes are hilarious.
Whether youre a fan of his or not, you could appreciate the humor.
See for yourself below!
There are some Chuck Norris jokes that will make anyone laugh!
(Real) Chuck Norris Facts
Chuck Norris is a name known across the world.
However, you might not know much more about him than his name.
Unsplash / Courtney Cook
to truly appreciate the Chuck Norris jokes youre always hearing, you should know some important Chuck Norris facts.
He opened more than 30 karate studios in the 1960s, planning to be an instructor.
After teaching some celebrities, like Priscilla Presley and actor Steve McQueen, he decided to try acting himself.
Unsplash / Thought Catalog
2.Although everyone knows him as Chuck Norris, his full name is Carlos Ray Chuck Norris.
His birthday is on March 10, 1940.
3.Chuck Norris is skilled in martial arts.
Unsplash / Felix Rostig
He is a black belt in Tang Soo Do, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, and Judo.
4.There are several viral videos inspired by Chuck Norris.
Some are compilations of his greatest moments.
Unsplash / Jamie Brown
Others are fan-made comedy videos, like Chuck Norris VS Abe Lincoln or Chuck Norris VS Angry Birds.
5.The legendary Chuck Norris is primarily known for his martial arts skills.
However, he is also a famous actor.
Unsplash / Brooke Cagle
He has appeared inWalker, Texas RangerandSons of Thunder.He also appeared in the action film,The Expendables 2.
6.One of his most notable moves is referred to asthe Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
7.For his 77th birthday, Chuck Norris released a mobile game called Nonstop Chuck Norris.
Unsplash / Toa Heftiba
8.Norris is actuallyawareof the fake facts the internet creates about him.
He has even read some of them himself on late night talk shows.
9.A Facebook scam tried to convince the internet that Norris was dead at 71.
10.There was another celebrity death hoax involving Norris in 2020.
People were sending around a hilarious corona virus joke saying, Chuck Norris has been diagnosed with corona virus.
The virus is now in quarantine.
However, some people believed he was actually sick.
After all, you have to admit Chuck Norris jokes are hilarious.
They can get a chuckle out of anyone.
2.Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room.
The bear isnt dead.
It is just afraid to move.
3.Chuck Norris cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.
4.Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.
5.Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia.
Fear of Chuck Norris is called logic.
6.Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin.
Its descendants are now known as giraffes.
7.Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
8.Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pie.
And can divide by zero.
9.Behind Chuck Norris beard, there isnt a chin.
Those listed are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
11.Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
12.Chuck Norris peed on a truck.
It created Optimus Prime.
13.Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people.
14.Chuck Norris calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools Chuck Norris.
15.Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
The Greatest Chuck Norris Jokes
16.Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs.
17.Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
18.When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
19.Chuck Norris does not use spell check.
If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will change the spelling.
20.Chuck Norris narrates Morgan Freemans life.
21.Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
22.Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light.
23.Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
24.Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
25.If you want a list of Chuck Norris enemies, just check the extinct species list.
26.Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
27.Chuck Norris once bought a refrigerator.
Its now called outer space.
28.The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once.
You know what happened to them.
29.Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.
30.Chuck Norris appeared in the Street Fighter II video game.
But he was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick.
When asked bout this glitch, Chuck Norris replied, Thats no glitch.
Hilarious Chuck Norris Jokes
31.Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in three moves.
32.Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
33.Chuck Norris once had a heart attack.
34.Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
35.Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again.
One Grand Canyon is enough.
36.Chuck Norris tears cure cancer.
Too bad he has never cried.
37.Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris undies.
38.On the 7th day, God rested… Chuck Norris took over.
39.Chuck Norris knows Victorias secret.
40.Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.
42.Chuck Norris counted to infinity.
45.The original title forAlien vs. PredatorwasAlien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction.
No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
47.Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
48.When Christopher Columbus discovered America, he was greeted by Chuck Norris.
50.Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
51.Chuck Norris named his daughter Mercy.
The day she was born was the only day Chuck Norris ever had Mercy.
52.Chuck Norris doesnt breathe, he holds air hostage.
53.Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.
54.Mission Impossible was originally set in Chuck Norriss house.
55.Chuck Norris plays Jenga with Stonehenge.
56.Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
57.Some kids pee their name in the snow.
Chuck Norris can pee his name into concrete.
58.Chuck Norris does not sleep.
59.Chuck Norris computer has no backspace button, because Chuck Norris doesnt make mistakes.
60.When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isnt lifting himself up, hes pushing the Earth down.
62.Chuck Norris doesnt play hide-and-seek, he plays hide-and-pray-I-dont-find-you.
64.When the Boogeyman goes to sleep at night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
65.Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
66.Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
67.Chuck Norris doesnt worry about high gas prices, his vehicles run on fear.
68.Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.
69.Chuck can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
70.Chuck Norriss daughter lost her virginity.
He got it back.
71.It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel.
Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.
72.Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County.
The judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not attempt murder.
73.Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
74.What is Chuck Norris favorite anime?Death Note.
75.Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin.
77.When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, hes telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
78.Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper cant get up the courage to tell him.
79.Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldnt dodge Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
80.Chuck Norris doesnt have good aim.
His bullets just know better than to miss.
Clever Chuck Norris Jokes
81.M.C.
Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.
82.Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
83.Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch.
He decides what time it is.
84.Chuck Norriss belly button is actually a power outlet.
85.Chuck Norris does not shake hands.
He makes them tremble.
86.Chuck Norris does not get frostbite.
Chuck Norris bites frost.
87.When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: What is courage?
He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
88.When life gave Chuck Norris lemons, he squeezed the lemons and made orange juice.
89.The Great Wall of China, the entertainment destination, was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out.
90.One time, Chuck Norris went to Mars.
Thats why theres no sign of life there.
91.Chuck Norris heard that nothing can kill him, so he tracked down nothing and killed it.
92.Chuck Norris doesnt cheat death, he wins fair and square.
93.Few people know that Chuck Norris has a diaryits called the Guinness Book of World Records.
94.Chuck Norris has punched people so hard that their blood started bleeding.
95.Chuck Norris invented airplanes because he was tired of being the only person that could fly.
96.Chuck Norris can eat just one Lays potato chip.
97.When the zombie apocalypse stars, Chuck Norris doesnt venture to survive, the zombies do.
98.Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
99.Chuck Norris can start a fire with an ice cube.
100.The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Here are some WTF photos and GIFS from Twitter and Facebook that will make you laugh until you cry.
You get to see some impressive Chuck Norris pictures.
