Drastically change your appearance.
By
Updated 7 years ago,November 17, 2017
Whelp.
Another relationship bit the bullet.
Vladislav Muslakov
You have been here before and made it through virtually unscathed.
It wont be pretty, but dont be ashamed because you are not alone in your madness.
These are the twelve stages girls go through after a break-up…
1.
Talk a lot of shit.
I am talking copious amounts of shit.
Its the shit talking Olympics, and you are going for the gold.
Vladislav Muslakov
Get your girlfriends in on this.
Sometimes the only thing to comfort you is comfort food so dive straight into its arms, girl.
Get a revenge body.
Get rid of everything he gave you or that reminds you of him.
Except that really cute sweater that makes your boobs look great.
Or that expensive handbag because hey, you earned it for all those years of dealing with his bullshit.
Fall down the emo rabbit hole.
Im talking Bon Iver followed by Dashboard Confessional sad here people.
Also, you should floss.
No metaphor here, just a friendly reminder.
Drastically change your appearance.
With dull kitchen shears.
Maybe pick up some boxed dye so you’re free to really get the party started.
Im pretty sure Confucius said, The best way to get over somebody is to get under somebody else.
Have you ever stalked someones social media so hard you end up back at your own profile?
Nah, me neither, and I surely couldnt tell you his new girlfriends second grade teachers name either.
Get the fuck out of dodge.
Pack up your problems and take them half way around the world.
Replace human contact with alcohol.
Who needs a significant other when you have wine?
They can keep you warm at night too.
Meh, you win some, you lose some.
And finally,
12.
You should probably swipe through a thousand just to double-check its just as terrible as when you left.
At least there are always Ben and Jerry.
