If he touches you physically in any way that harms or traumatizes you, its physical abuse.
Emotional abuse takes a much more subtle form and isnt so easy to detect.
Perhaps one reason we might not see whats happening is we dont want to admit it to ourselves.
God & Man
When were in a relationship, we become invested.
They think if they do everything perfectly, the way he likes, his behavior will change.
But thats not the way abusive relationships work.
He is who he is, and how you behave wont change that.
We are not responsible for other peoples behavior.
We do not cause our partners to somehow lose control and treat us badly.
Now lets look at signs of emotional abuse you should never ignore.
12 Signs of Emotional Abuse
1.
This is known as gaslighting and is a common feature in emotionally abusive relationships.
Basically, it means he manipulates you by causing you to question your own sanity.
Its never his fault
He takes no responsibility for any issues in the relationship.
If you have a problem, its your problem.
Basically, its always your fault and never his.
But it doesnt stop at the relationship.
All of his failures lead back to you.
Emotionally abusive relationships can deeply penetrate our psyches and change the way we think about ourselves.
If we think this is what we deserve, it can be hard to walk away.
Puts you down a lot
The criticism is endless.
You constantly feel put down and humiliated, like youre not good enough.
The put-downs and cruelty can be in private or in front of other people.
They may be embarrassed, unsure if they should interfere, or not know what to do.
Unfortunately, this can make you question yourself even more and give him more ammunition to gaslight you with.
After all, if hed said or done something wrong, why would everyone act like everything was okay?
Jokes should be funny, not hurtful, and this is a classic line of an abuser.
Your feelings dont matter, and so hes not interested in hearing about them.
This can be very hard for the abused person to understand.
The problem here is shes trying to be rational with someone whos not coming from a place of reason.
An abuser does not want to make you happy, he wants to control you.
He may stonewall, meaning he shuts down and withdraws completely from the interaction.
You feel like youre coming against a brick wall, or like youre invisible.
He shows no respect for your privacy.
He will read your texts and emails and go through your things.
This isnt care; its control.
When times are good, they are so good.
After all, hes being reasonable now, so maybe he was those other times, too?
His good behavior once again scrambles your mind and your memories.
He becomes super loving and affectionate.
He gives you nice gifts, hes sweet, he compliments you.
That you did something to push him away.
His moods seem totally beyond your control.
You are always on edge
Youre walking on eggshells.
You dont feel comfortable in the relationship, and youre always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
You may even think that theyre jealous or trying to ruin your life … but hear them out anyway.
They have objectivity and you dont.
They care about you.
Listen to what they have to say, really listen.
Youve changed
Your friends and family arent the only ones who noticeyou notice it, too.
You are no longer the fun, confident, happy girl.
You are dark and sad and insecure and on edge.
But there is always a way back to who you really are.
In summary…
The top 12 most common signs of emotional abuse:
