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Updated 5 months ago,November 18, 2024
No one wants to be be played with.
Mind games are usually a manifestation of his own ambivalence towards you and the relationship.
Now on your end, you just feel totally confused.
Unsplash / Bao Truong
You feel like youre trying to solve some intricate puzzle rather than build a relationship and form a connection.
You feel like you cant totally drop your guard because youre afraid of being blindsided with a breakup.
Youre doing all the work
You arealways the one to initiate textsand hangouts.
You almost feel like if you stopped reaching out to him, you would never hear from him again.
So you feel really confused.
Why be nice when you reach out to him?
Well, this is what I call the passive reciprocation trap.
When a guy really does like you, hell beconsistent.
If this is the situation youre in, just pull back a bit and see what he does.
He bails on you … often
Things come up sometimes, life happens.
But how often is it happening?
When a guytruly likes you, he wont cancel unless he has a seriously legitimate reason.
If a guy is flaking often, its a sign that he just isnt serious about you.
Or maybe hes just a selfish guy who always puts himself first.
Either way, its not a good sign.
It also points to a guy who is still exploring his options.
If a guy is just messing around, then he might bail on you when something better comes up.
Guys dont act like this withwomen they really care about.
A lot of women get confused by mixed messages andhot and cold behavior.
But then when he goes cold, youre left shattered and confused.
What did you do wrong?
What is going on in this guys head?
Most likely, he likes you … but he doesnt like you enough.
That is truly whats at the heart of all the confusion.
You have no idea where he stands
Hes just kind of in a state of neutral.
Hes nice and hes friendly, but you have no idea how he really feels about you.
He seems content keeping things unclear and undefined.
Either way, this state of confusion drives you completely crazy.
almost making you feel like you should be grateful hes giving you the time of day.
He may even neg you.
Negging is an insult cloaked in a compliment- like You look so much prettier with makeup on.
Or, My last girlfriend was super hot Im glad youre more of a girl-next-door throw in.
Now if the relationship is new, this is normal and understandable.
But if its been a few months, then this is odd behavior.
Does he step up or take a big step back?
His actions and words dont align
Men communicate through actions more than words.
This is where it gets confusing for a lot of women because words mean a lot to us.
But how do his words come across via actions?
If his words align with his actions, great!
He means what hes saying.
If not … then its just poetry.
He might talk about other women to you or flirt with other women in from of you.
We want to know their full history- every scar and every scratch and every story.
When were indifferent, we dont really care.
Were just using them to serve our own needs.
You feel it in your gut
Deep down, you already know the truth.
If you think this guy is playing games and isnt serious about you, then youre probably right.
The trouble is, you dont want to be right!
So maybe you discovered that the guy youre seeing is playing games with you …
