People are either charming or tedious.
Oscar Wilde
Everybody wants tobe charming.
People who are magnetic dont just roll out of bed and attract others like moths to a flame.
Twenty20 / @thenathanrohrer
It takes effort, and the better you get at it, the more effortless it will look.
This doesnt mean manipulating anyone in fact, forcing false qualities or playing mind games will repel others.
It feels good when someone shows an interest in your life.
When a person is categorically curious about you, it makes you feel special.
Make it a goal that you will listen more than you will speak in a conversation.
This is a simple way to confirm youre asking enough questions.
Truly listen when the other person is talking.
Act like youre old pals
Before you meet someone new, imagine that you already like them.
This will change your demeanor.
Youll be smiley, friendly, and your regular guard will be lowered.
Acting like youre already friends with someone will make them feel like they can trust you.
Remember their name, and use it often
Using someones name carries a real impact.
When you meet someone new, be sure you get their name right.
If you didnt quite catch it, feel free to clarify during that first introduction.
They will be flattered that you want to get right.
Use their name again when you leave.
If you avoid spilling any personal information, you will come across as cold and overly guarded.
The fastest way to make someone else feel comfortable being vulnerable is toopen up yourself.
Dont share anything that comes across as more of a humble brag than actually intriguing information about yourself.
How to Be Physically Charming
Smile
A smile is the perfect code for safe.
It makes you appear kind and approachable.
It invites others to feel at ease around you.
Theres a reason some experts suggest making yourself smile to trick yourself into feeling happier your body language matters.
A false smile with the wrong motives usually comes across as transparent to others.
venture to smile genuinely, and with warmth.
A hand pressed to a shoulder in a gesture of camaraderie can send a sweet message.
Some people like high-fives or playful nudges in the arm.
For people who are naturally anxious, it can be hard to maintain strong eye contact.
Practice doing this, because it creates intimacy.
In todays world, people are often looking at their phones while youre speaking.
One of the ways they do this is by showing you that you have their undivided attention.
Use your body to signal this.
Keep your feet facing in their direction.
Dont angle so youre half turned away.
Additionally, dont cross your arms.
Keeping your body open shows that you are listening attentively.
This means no fidgeting or staring at your phone as soon as youre on your own.
Stillness shows a certain sense of ease.
When trying to make others feel good, go about this in as organic a way as possible.
Offering a compliment about work they have done is one option.
You could also ask where they got the shirt they are wearing.
Be cautious as lavishing compliments on someone can come across as disingenuous.
If they confess an insecurity, this is a solid opportunity to reassure them.
Its even better if you might relate to their anxiety and make them feel less alone.
Dont dismiss compliments
Accepting compliments can be challenging, especially for women.
You dont want to come across as arrogant by quickly agreeing.
However, dismissing a compliment and disagreeing is tedious for the person who tried to compliment you.
The best approach for accepting a compliment is being honestly grateful.
Smiling and saying thank you is all you should probably do.
Be a good listener
Everyone loves to talk to a good listener.
Someone who puts aside distractions and actually listens to you is very valuable.
Youll walk away from the conversation feeling like your opinions were worthy of being heard.
Dont pick out one thing that someone says and craft your response to that as they continue speaking.
Listen carefully and dont make a run at win the conversation.
Dont talk badly about people
Everybody knows at least one person who is always full of gossip.
This person often spreads negativity without much of a thought.
After a while, you realize that anything youve told this person has probably been passed around pretty thoroughly.
Having your trust violated feels very disheartening.
Keep information about others to yourself.
Be a vault that people know they can depend on with confidence.
In Summary…
How to be charming:
