Accept the fact that sometimes you wont understand why youre feeling a certain way, and thats okay.
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Updated 4 years ago,September 12, 2021
1.
Tell a story/memory of your past that makes you happy.
John Schnobrich
Talk about your values, or what you feel strongly about.
Your values/dreams/wishes are at the core of you.
Reveal one small thing youre afraid of.
And if youre able to start there, youll feel more confident as you continue to build trust.
Play a (vulnerable) game that takes the pressure off.
Heres an idea: Grab two sheets of paper one for each person.
John Schnobrich
Together come up with a set of questions to answer, first about yourself (without looking!)
and then, on the other side, about your partner.
When youre both finished, share the answers with one another in a relaxed, less interrogating environment.
Let your partner/person share something and simply listen.
Let them speak and simply listen.
If youre feeling ready, reciprocate.
If not, tell them this, but be honest with yourself about trying your best in the future.
Realize that each person and relationship is vastly different.
Just because a person of your past has hurt you doesnt mean that will happen again.
And just because a relationship failed doesnt mean your next one will.
Give your new person a fair chance without holding them to unrealistic expectations.
Slow down and connect your mind and body.
Letting someone inis very challenging.
Dont be too hard on yourself.
Accept the fact that sometimes you wont understand why youre feeling a certain way, and thats okay.
Youre going to be nervous.
Youre going to be cautious.
Validate your own feelings.
First, understand thathealing is not a quick process.
Youre not going to wake up one day and be perfectly okay.
But the most important thing in letting your guard down is to validate yourself.
The person of your present is not at fault for what happened in your past.
And honestly, blaming the person of your past does nothing but hold you back there.
Try, as much as you’re able to, to let go.
If you cant quite yet, then make intentional steps to not blame anyone (especially yourself!
), and instead focus on healing rather than restitution.
Try your best to communicate, even when its hard.
Accept our emotions as they come.
Be patient with yourself.
Bottom line, youre trying.
And that in itself is everything.
