I make it through every day but being able to get through the day doesnt mean its easy.
Here are 14 things I wish people understood about my high-functioning depression.
I hide my feelings.
Jeff Isy
I am really good at hiding my emotions.
I am surprised that I havent gotten an Oscar for the best actress award.
Every day I play the role of the successful, happy woman.
I am always exhausted.
Waking up, brushing my teeth, driving and even breathing is exhausting.
Everything takes an incredible amount of energy.
Getting through the day is exhausting everything is difficult.
Some days are physically, mentally and emotionally draining.
I dont want to be around people.
Im extremely irritable and judgmental.
I just want to be far away from people and hide in my own bubble.
I spend a lot of time staring off into space, trying to regain control of my own mind.
My physical body is present, but my mind is gone.
I feel like no one understands me.
Or sometimes they say I have nothing to be depressed about.
Its hard for others to understand what I feel, so instead, I just bottle things up.
I cant do anything at 100%.
I am my own worst critic.
I think that I am a loser, an idiot and that I am not smart enough.
My ruthless inner critic condemns myself.
I stress over my performance, doubting myself and everything I do.
I am too nice sometimes.
I am not always moody or angry.
There are days when I portray a positive attitude.
I high-five and give compliments to everyone.
I act like I am an employee of the month, and smile at everyone that I see.
Nothing makes me happy.
When I am depressed is difficult to experience joy to its fullest extent.
I become less and less excited about anything and feel as though Im living my life half-numb.
I keep myself busy.
Im always busy doing something just to keep my mind occupied.
I constantly have negative thoughts.
I think that my life is worthless, and there is no point of living another day.
I think that the world would be better off without me taking up space on the planet.
And on the days when the pain is unbearable, I think of ways to make it all end.
These are the negative thoughts spinning in my head every single day that I just cant turn them off.
With high-functioning depression, I dont know what a middle ground is.
Ill spend a lot of time working, or at the gym.
I binge watch T.V, drink a lot or overeat.
Its very hard to get help.
I dont have to have a reason to be depressed.
Even when everything is going well in my life, I still get depressed.
I experience episodes of extreme sadness and pain.
I feel the same kind of pain you feel when you lose a loved one.
I feel the same kind of sadness that lingers after a breakup.
I feel emptiness, unhappiness, and hopelessness.
The truth is high-functioning depression is debilitating.
