You dont want to mess things up you say?
Well, youve come to the right place as Ive been where you are countless times in the past.
Dating someone imaginary gets significantly less cool after the age of 21.
No Strings Attached
3.I must emphasize, stalking is just not cool.
I suggest GPS trackers, personal investigators and, if necessary, disguising yourself as a bush.
Remember, the best way to show you care is to have none of your own interests.
Nothing says dont date me louder than a total lack of spine unless you are super attractive.
6.Before speaking, check those feelings of self-doubt, no matter how strong, at the door.
To help, find an open-air space with no doors.
No Strings Attached
Attempt to catch her at a moment of weakness or during a power outage.
Tears are your friend and your cue to enter.
Dont perform magic tricks.
9.In all likelihood she will be surrounded by her girlfriends, who are like a pack of wild dogs.
If they believe their friend is under attack, and they will, they will rip your face off.
10.Dont forget about hygiene!
Any extra washing or positive aromas or sparkling teeth are a plus.
11.I cant say enough about being prepared.
13.Open with a compliment about her appearance.
Dont be too descriptive or graphic or overly verbose.
You may be the next Shakespeare or B-film director, but now is not the time to show off.
That time is three weeks from now at 4:15 pm.
14.Keep it simple and appropriate as if your grandmother happened to be around.
Dont bring your grandmother unless it somehow improves your chances.
This is a perfect opportunity to demonstrate that you are down-to-Earth and normal.
Ask her about something general and impersonal like school, music, or taxation.
Whatever you do dont get vehemently angry about the weather.
17.Tell her you like her and want to go out with her, but not in those words.
That makes it too obvious and borderline-desperate.
Attempt to strike a balance between perplexingly-vague and coyishly-brazen.
Thankfully you dont care.
20.With plans set, excuse yourself.
You are a hero and the things of which statues are made on.
