1.Her text messages are solely punctuation.
2.She has started insisting on official summons notarized by a judge before coming to dinner.
3.She refuses to spell actual words when playing Scrabble.
How To Be Single
4.When you are taking a shower, she decides to play Beethovens 9th using the taps in the kitchen.
5.Your last romantic weekend getaway was spent at the morgue.
6.She spends most of her time in her own private fort made of couch pillows.
7.When you are undressing for bed, she dons a Hazmat suit.
10.In a recent redecoration she literally put up red flags everywhere.
11.She has started using way too many air quotes when discussing your future as a couple.
How To Be Single
13.She blew out all the candles on your birthday cake for you and ominously said enjoy the wish.
14.She is constantly pretending that she has amnesia.
15.You cant remember the last time she touched you without the aid of a 10 foot pole.
18.Her New Years resolution is to become significantly more high maintenance and/or jealous.
19.She wont tell you the safe word.
20.She is always relentlessly encouraging you to get out more.
