What’s grosser than gross?
You’re about to find out.
Afterward, I was pretty light headed and laid down on the bathroom floor.
via Wiki Commons
I was working at a veterinary office and a client came in with his cat as an emergency.
The smell was rank (all the vet staff out there know what kind of smell I mean).
I have longish, thick hair, and it was coated in fecal matter from my shoulder down.
via Wiki Commons
Just thinking about it makes me want to puke.
Really hate getting anything under my tongue ever since.
I got really addicted to pain killers, really bad.
They can fuck you up in a bunch of ways.
One of the side effects is constipation.
I had an episode where I couldnt shit but was beyond backed up.
I almost passed out from pushing too hard.
It was literally ripping me open.
I decided to go in with two fingers and break it.
It worked and I whimpered.
After I was done I took a bunch more pills to get over what had happened.
I must have washed my hands for 30 minutes.
Fingering your bottom can bring you close to rock bottom.
A fly wedged itself into my eye and got under my eyelid.
I accidentally sipped from my old roommates spit bottle.
It was a Gatorade bottle full of black chunky spit and I was drinking a Gatorade.
Set my Gatorade next to the spitter and wasnt paying attention.
Took a big ol gulp of that nastiness.
I vomited it up, which was also gross.
I had a pilonidal cyst.
They appear on the lower back/right above the butt.
That was the rotten smell of the pus.
Im pretty sure that was my cyst too.
My sister said to never talk to her about my cyst again, and I havent.
We both felt like shit and were pooping wet, sloppy diarrhea out of our asses every hour.
Like many places without modern plumbing, we werent supposed to flush the toilet paper.
As you’re able to imagine, it got pretty rank in there between the two of us.
And in combination with my upset stomach, I couldnt hold it down.
I immediately vomited what little I had in my stomach all over the sink.
So there I am, bile dripping from my mouth, I shat myself.
After I cleaned myself up, I wept and just rolled into a ball in the shower.
3/10, wouldnt do again.
The stench that followed him curled my nose hair.
I wandered over and a Medic I knew personally was physically crying.
I couldnt stop puking!
The Doc looked at me with a look of horror and we both walked into the bay.
As we pushed the doors open, we were met by a wall of stank.
It smelled so bad, the smell had its own texture, taste, and feel.
You could literally feel the scent trying to skull fuck you into unconsciousness.
It ran off the bed in little oh-fuck-this rivers.
I stood by the door frozen in place.
I followed suit in the scrub basin.
It took 45 minutes to put the Flexiseal in.
The stream of death never stopped.
By the time we were done, we were all covered in all manners of yuck.
Ive never felt so dirty in my life.
C-Diff is a cunt.
Anyway, while I was looking straight at her asshole, she farted loooong and loud.
I should not have trusted that okay.
Later found out that she had history of C. Diff.
I worked at a lab that processed literally hundreds of gallons of blood from various farm animals a day.
I worked in a lab that studied the effects of certain insect pests on crops.
On the paper wed paint the sticky glue that the bugs would get stuck to.
Meanwhile, the sticky glue bug mixture would get all over my hands and arms.
I worked in retail for 15 years and we had public restrooms.
The worst thing is when someone has a bad time in the restroom and handles it poorly.
When departing the store the chose a different path and that trail was more smears/footprints.
There was also some larger unidentifiable item of clothing in the larger trash can by the door.
I am glad I no longer work in retail.
Just..so many fluids, from so many places.
When I was a very stupid teenager, I was working under the table for a local restaurant.
One day, the owner asks me if Id like to make some extra cash.
Darkness, and a blast of the most revolting, putrid air I have ever experienced.
I have cleaned animal corpses out of my wood shed.
I have wrestled with a badly skunked German Shepherd.
I have been to Newark, New Jersey.
But NOTHING compares to the fucking stench of that old, black kitchen.
Pots full of rot stood on cold, cobwebbed stoves.
I still do not understand how it was left in that condition.
It didnt make any sense.
I felt filthy on the inside for days after that.
It was disgusting beyond my ability to explain, and Im trying.
I recently tried to play the new Resident Evil, and I cant.
It takes me right back to that kitchen and I want to vomit.
I feel like I need a shower just from remembering this.
While shitting my guts out I puked into my underwear.
I was at a fancy restaurant hiding in the loo.
Had to call my mom to help me.
Looking at the wall directly in front of me, splattered in blood was pretty shocking.
I dont even what to know what my nethers looked like when my son was coming out.
After boot camp, the first stop for Marines is Combat Training.
The entire thing is a full month of training; there arent any days off.
No showers, no laundry, etc.
Anyway, for our final week, we went to Camp Devildog, which is a pretend FOB.
It also has toilets and showers.
We were all very happy with this.
That night, our sergeant grabbed a bunch of people, myself included, for a work detail.
Hey, no problem.
Weve all cleaned toilets before.
The male toilets were kinda gross but serviceable.
Toilet paper here, some hair there, whatever.
We were physically unprepared for the stench and the sight of a bathroom so defiled and desecrated.
Ill start listing the different discrepancies.
We went Oh… oh fuck.
We were on our own.
So, we cleaned.
We triple-bagged our hands and scooped out handfuls of shit and toilet paper from the urinals and toilets.
We fished out the tampons.
And the whole time, we consoled ourselves by saying What thefuck over and over and over again.
It took us five hours.
By far my worst experience in the Marine Corps.
0/10 would not enlist again.
Table next to mine in the dissection lab perforated the cadavers bowel while opening up the abdomen.
I still think about it a lot.
All right listen up kids let me tell you a story.
It works, barely.
It would be way to expensive to fix so we just have to deal with it.
Now the way its set up is that the pipe you have to open is connected to the toilet.
it’s possible for you to see where im going with this.
I go to flush my toilet after a long dump, lo and behold it doesnt flush.
Go back inside and attempt to flush, it doesnt go down.
I go back outside and pop the top again and let it go through.
That doesnt work so i swallow my pride, crouch down and reach my hand in there.
My hand is engulfed in warm liquid, a mixture of piss and water.
I gag and push through it, my hand hits the clog.
It was a mixture of those flushable wipes and toilet paper.
I resist the urge to vomit and push deeper into it and rip the clog out.
I vomit even more, i was vomiting every fiber of my being.
I get light headed and fall to my knees, right into a puddle of shit stew.
I walked out of that shower looking like a bright red prune that smelled like coconut covered roses.
