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Updated 3 years ago,November 4, 2021
Success isnt just having lots of money.
Many people with lots of money have horribly unhappy and radically imbalanced lives.
So why wont most people be successful?
@rockstraight
Why dont most people evolve?
The more evolved you become, the more focused you must be on those few things which matter most.
This article is a break-down of 23 smart ways to focus on the major things in your life.
The result is that youll have more confidence, productivity, and income.
Here they are:
1.
Said he: Typically, we have a window of about three hours where were really, really focused.
@rockstraight
Your challenge, in all seriousness, is learning how to deal withfive minutes of pain.
Because when you set your alarm and wake up early, it will suck.
It feels absolutely terrible to wake up early.
But it only really feels terrible forfive minutes, if you immediately get of bed and do something.
Otherwise, you compound the pain by either staying in bed or by falling back asleep and feeling regret.
Five minutes is likely the distinguishing factor of whether youll have a great day, or an average one.
Similarly, 30 days is the difference between having bad habits and good ones.
Yet, most people remain on the WRONG SIDE of those five minutes and those 30 days.
If theyd just endure some short difficulty, theyd open themselves to a world of opportunity.
Jim Collins said, Good is the enemy of great.
There are countless good things you could do.
But what is the FIRST thing youshoulddo?
Whats the ideal way to START your day?
That depends on your #1 priority in life.
If its your faith, you should probably connect with God and increase your faith.
If its your business, you should probably get moving on your business.
For several years, the first thing I did in the morning was go to the gym.
And although health and fitness are essential to me, they are not my #1 priority.
If you dont make time for your #1 priority, then is itreallya priority?
To illustrate the concept, Covey puts several rocks in a bucket.
When you put the little rocks in first, you cant fit all of the big rocks.
But when you start with the big rocks, the little rocks can easy fill the empty spaces.
How you start something determines your trajectory.
Getting up early isnt enough.
it’s crucial that you put first things first.
After your main priorities have been completed, the rest will fill the gaps.
This is essential to quality decision making.
The best decision makers do things that simultaneously make everything else in their life easy.
You make ONE decision that makes several other decisions either irrelevant or easier.
When you fill your time only with THE BEST, then everything else takes care of itself.
The distractions and lower priorities are either given their allotted time or they disappear from your life.
Because you already filled your life with stuff of much higher value.
Sometimes we feel overwhelmed by the tasks we face.
For example, Im very close to finishing my PhD.
But there are some things related to completing my PhD that Ive been avoiding/procrastinating.
Im putting off something that really matters to me.
Thus, Im living in a state of incongruence.
I begin to feel hope that I can succeed.
I begin to see more beauty in life and in the people around me.
I begin to feel motivated to succeed in my health, my relationships, and my other goals.
However, there are also several other learning styles that each of us neglect and avoid.
Interestingly,most people have a growth mindset about the learning style they are comfortable with.
You probably approach challenges and failures as opportunities to grow.
You probably seek out mentoring, education, and help.
Youre probably curious and seeking to expand your knowledge and horizon about that thing.
However, most people have a fixed mindset about the learning styles they arent comfortable with.
For example, if you dont like writing, you probably believe you cant get better at it.
There are some things YOU simply cant learn.
They arent in your DNA or something, right?
Hence, I avoid doing it.
You make tangible progress toward goals that are currently outside your comfort zone.
You open yourself to a new world of learning and experience.
You make new connections in your brain.
You gain confidence in yourself by watching yourself do something difficult.
And they refuse to learn those essential components.
It would improve because theyd demonstrate to themselves how truly committed they are to their dreams.
Theyre committed enough to do stuff that sucks.
Theyre committed to not just being a dreamer, but a professional.
You may compensate in one area of life for a while.
For example, you may obsess about your work or your health, while neglecting your higher priorities.
But this is extremely unsustainable.
Eventually and always, it will come back to you.
The things you excel at will eventually become your greatest weaknesses, unless you keep them in proper balance.
So how do you get to your why?
Its really not that hard.
Just answer the first thing that comes to mind.
Dont over complicate it.
Your answer might be something like, to have a more flexible schedule.
You then put THAT into the previous question.
What about having a more flexible schedule is important to me?
Feeling less stressed and controlled.
What about feeling less stressed and controlled is important to me?
I work better, and am happier, when I can manage myself.
What about working better, being happy, and managing myself is important to me?
Thus, our performance doesnt come from our core.
For example, Im starting this business to have more flexibility in my schedule.
Sure, thats important.
But its not THAT INSPIRING.
Why do you want more flexibility?
Heres whats great though.
You get to decide HOW YOU FRAME your Why.
You get to decide your reasons for what you do.
Those reasons COME FROM YOU.
They dont need to be assigned from an outside source.
In the epic TED talk, philosopher Ruth Chang explains how to make really really hard choices.
You get down to the WHY, and then ultimately, you define that WHY for yourself.
Yes, you have a story.
But you get to shape that story.
You get to shape your reasons.
They engage in relationships solely for what they can get out of those relationships.
Put bluntly, these people are TRANSACTIONAL.
Everything in their life is a transaction, or an exchange.
Takers operate out of SCARCITY.
They dont TRULY give.
Their giving only goes to a certain point.
Moreover, they are only grateful when they get what they want.
They undervalue what others give.
If the relationship isnt giving them what they want, there is no appreciation.
Or, until the giver realizes what is truly happening.
Some people give to a fault.
They give everything theyve got and, most importantly, they give to the WRONG TYPES OF PEOPLE.
When you give to takers, the pie gets smaller and eventually becomes exhausted.
When you give to givers, the pie continually gets bigger and bigger.
Thus, being a giver isnt enough.
you should probably give to the right people if you want your success and relationships to last.
Who you surround yourself with, and who you work with, really matters.
Ive engaged in many business relationships over the past few years some with givers and some with takers.
Takers are very hard to spot in the beginning, because they are very manipulative and cunning.
Takers are motivated by greed, not growth.
You have to be really intuitive to spot the subtle cues.
Im done with transactional relationships.
I prefer relationships that lead to growth and transformation.
In order for these types of relationships to exist, you must be willing to face brutal truths.
Transformational relationships are messy.If you trust someone, youll be willing to engage in ideological conflict with that person.
That conflict is NOT about the person, but rather, about moving past breakthrough and toward clarity.
Most people quit relationships when conflict arises.
Youll know someone is a giver when they genuinely help you without asking for anything in return.
And they are truly, genuinely, happy for the success they help you have.
Those are the types of people you want to work with.
Givers also stay with you when youre at a low point.
They stick with you through conflicts and challenges.
In most of those relationships, do you OVERVALUE or UNDERVALUE what you contribute?
Moreover, do you OVERVALUE or UNDERVALUE what others in the relationship contribute?
Usually, people overvalue what they contribute and undervalue what others contribute.
If youre a giver, you value and appreciate what others contribute.
You dont take others for granted.
You dont KEEP SCORE in your relationships.
Ive seen through multiple collaborations that most people have LOW STANDARDS for themselves and their work.
How a person does anything is how they do everything.
More recently, Ive decided to work with people who are true craftsman and craftswomen.
Yes, the process may be a little bit slower.
But the final outcome is 10X or 100X better.
Things are less rushed.
Quality of life is better.
Quality of planning is more thorough.
Expectations of results are much higher.
Learning is much deeper.
There is less stress and feeling like an imposter.
When I say quality of life, I mean that in the literal sense.
Far more attention to detail.
Far more passion for living.
For more GIVING to life and experiencing moments.
There are lots of people who are strictly SALESMAN, out there.
These people are generally takers.
Theyre really good at talking, but their life is a mess.
You want to work with people who are craftsman and professionals.
Yet, these artists are also scientists and marketers.
Their first priority is in doing brilliant work, but they arent starving artists.
They study the business-side as well, and also the strategy and marketing.
You cant be a one-trick pony.
Giving taps into the spiritual dimension that multiplies us, our thinking, and our results.
You realize that your life is a reflection of what you believe you deserve.
Your sense of what you deserve grows as you have a greater desire to help other people.
You end up NEEDING to use your time better, because you have important work to do.
Because you no longer settle for less.
Your standards for yourself, the world, and the people around you increase.
Your expectations become far more positive and clear.
And what you expect is generally what you get.
Its based on three things:
You get in life what you expect you will.
You elevate what you expect when you become increasingly capable and confident.
When you develop skills and abilities coupled with faith and resolve, your future becomes predictable.
It becomes an increasingly upward cycle of expectancy.
You watch as your world becomes better and better.
Then I probably wouldnt have found it so frightening to write.Elizabeth George
People dont learn in the abstract.
They learn THROUGH DOING.
Paralysis by analysis will stop you from developing a sense of true mastery.
Mastery comes from embracing difficult emotions.
You cant just have a single-dimensional understanding.
You must have a four or five dimensional understanding.
This requires embracing all of the learning styles listed above.
It requires breaking past emotional blocks.
It requires expanding your sense for what it’s possible for you to do and achieve and contribute.
As you grow in your abilities, your sense of what you might contribute will expand.
Naturally, youll desire to help other people.
Youll have a broadened view of the world.
Youll see things more clearly.
Youll see things differently than the masses.
The more education a person gets, the more empathetic they can become.
There is no power in ignorance.
Oscar Wilde
Very few people live within their means.
Most people, particularly in Western Culture, have bought heavily into consumerism.
For most people, the notion of living within your means is the best advice that could be given.
And indeed, living within your means should be the foundation of a healthy financial life.
But thats where most financial advice stops.
When youre a giver, its not about HAVING more solely for the sake of it.
Although having more is certainly not a sin.
The problem is becoming absorbed in stuff, trying to keep up, etc.
Do you ever feel like youve taken on too much?
Ferriss responded:
Of course I get stressed out.
If anyone says they dont get stressed out theyre lying.
If they get mad thats their problem.
You talked about how you travel the world without spending any money.
Talk about the balance and ability to let go of caring about making money.
Its totally okay to have lots of nice things.
Because money is a really valuable tool.
Money is a tool.
The more you make, the more good you’re free to do.
Rather than fitting your dreams into your current lifestyle, fit your lifestyle around your dreams.
Decide what you want.
Create a bold vision for your life.
Decide how you want to contribute, how you want to live.
THEN, figure out the means of making that happen.
When your WHY is clear and powerful, youll figure out the means to make it happen.
Thats how faith as a principle of power works.
You dont give to put others in debt to you.
You dont give to get ahead.
You dont give to make others feel inferior.
You give because you MUST.
You cant not give.
You give because you understand the law of abundance.
You give because you believe in humanity.
When you have a clear conscious, you operate better in all areas of life.
You sleep better, and deeper.
Youre more present in all situations.
You digest food better.
Youre more present to the needs of others.
Youre more guided and inspired in your course of life.
Youre more discerning about decisions and relationships.
Heres the gist of what the books teaches:
Courage can be developed.
But it cannot be nurtured in an environment that eliminates all risks, all difficulty, all dangers.
It takes considerable courage to work in an environment in which one is compensated according to ones performance.
Most affluent people have courage.
What evidence supports this statement?
Most affluent people in America are either business owners or employees who are paid on an incentive basis.Dr.
Thomas Stanley
16.
How do you create a sustainable and incredible business?
You GIVE WAY MORE than people pay for.
You focus on value, not price.
When youre a giver, you MUST give more value than people pay.
You do it because you find joy in doing your very best work.
You do it because you value the fact that people came to you.
Its really not about price.
People care about value.
Take this quote by musician, Fergie, for example:
For me, its not about price.
Its about necessity, quality, and usefulness.
Like, I have my Wet N Wild 666 lip liner.
Its 99 cents and always has been.
I started using it when I was in high school, and its great.
You have to earn peoples trust.
You have to genuinely create stuff that HELPS them.
What if you didnt make a penny until people got the results you promised them?
How would that change your work?
How would that change the quality you put in?
That should be your benchmark.
And then you should help them EVEN more.
But your free stuff should be so valuable that it makes people want to come back for more.
And even after people have become paying customers, you should give them lots for free.
You build trust and community through SERVING PEOPLE.
Transformational relationships begin with giving, not a transaction.
Do transformational relationships involve transactions?
Usually far bigger ones than transactional relationships.
But those transactions are done for an entirely different purpose.
Theyre done as a win-win.
Not as a win-lose.
These transactions usually occur after one or both parties have been abundant benefactors.
Why else would someone invest?
Make More Stuff (But only really good stuff)
Ship often.
Ship lousy stuff, but ship.
Skip them with impunity.
Trick the lizard if you must, but declare war on it regardless.
The resistance is waiting.
Ship.Seth Godin
Your behavior is what alters your identity.
Most people raised in a Western Culture have this idea exactly backwards.
Weve obsessed ourselves so much with the mind that its become everything.
We think the mind is the cause of everything.
Mountains of research in Social Psychology portray that self-perception is the product of choices and environments.
This is VERY good news.
It means you’re free to change your identity by simply changing your behavior and environment.
If you want more creativity, you simply need to do more creative work.
You battle the resistance and get to work.
Then, creativity becomes non-stop.
If you want to be a morning person, start getting up early.
Before you know it, youll identify as a morning person (both to yourself and other people).
Make more stuff and your creativity will increase.
Give more love and your ability to love and receive love will increase.
Be more successful and youll become more successful (lol!).
More importantly, who are the people you help?
And even more important than that, what is the PROBLEM youre trying to solve for THOSE PEOPLE?
Dont define your audience or ideal customer by their demographics.
Instead, define your audience by the problems they have.
What are they challenged with?
Why does this matter?
How can you help?
How can you help better than anyone else in the world?
How can you help them so much that you become a hero to them?
How can you give so much to these people that you completely change their lives for the better?
you gotta develop the skills, philosophies, and services that will solve their problems.
The people you serve may not even know they have the problem.
But you do, and youre gonna to create a new and better future for them.
Because youre a both a craftsman and a giver.
Actually, its the instant that pursuing your highest ambitions becomesyour only option.
How does this work?
Once invested to the point youmust go forward,your identity and complete orientation toward your objective changes.
Because you must go forward, youre no longer confused about what you better do.
Youre no longer uncertain if youre going to act.
You have already acted, and now it’s crucial that you make good on that action.
Entrepreneurs have had some form of Point of No Return experience, whereas wannabe entrepreneurs havent created such experiences.
One of the people I interviewed was a 17-year-old kid who wanted to sell shoes.
He and his partner one of his high school friends invested $10,000 into a shipment of shoes.
That really scared me, just knowing that it was like do or die.
I had to sell the shoes.
My follow-up question was, Did anything change after this moment?
Thats when I think I really saw that I was running the company.
It really changed my leadership role, I think, with my partners.
Once youve passed your point of no return, youve fully bought into your own vision.
Your role, and thus identity, change.
Youve removed alternatives that were nothing more than distractions anyways.
Youve forced your own hand and now must move in the direction you want to go.
What aboutyou…
Are you invested?
Your level of success can almost directly be measured to how personally invested you are.
Why are ELON MUSKs companies so successful?
Are theyreallythe most innovative?
But Elon also understands the importance of getting the message out.
He understands the power of publicity.
He understands the power of story.
And he regularly gets in front of the world to share the message.
Very few people or companies can clearly articulate WHY they do WHAT they do.
By WHY I mean your purpose, cause or belief WHY does your company exist?
WHY do you get out of bed every morning?
And WHY should anyone care?
People dont buy WHAT you do, they buy WHY you do it.
We are drawn to leaders and organizations that are good at communicating what they believe.
Learn In Public (Even when youre scared)
Im not talking about rehearsal.
Im talking about doing what musicians and boxers and lion tamers all do to get ready for their work.
To become awesome at their crafts.
Learn through raw experience.
But put yourself in a position where youre getting actual coaching.
Surround yourself with a support system of people who love HELPING YOU and INVESTING in you.
You do this by both being a giver, and also, by being a good receiver.
When people help and teach you, be an incredible student.
When you take what people teach and get incredible results, people want to help you more.
Your results become a reflection of THEM.
It takes courage to learn in public.
It takes courage to practice in public.
Most people wont do it.
But if you do, your courage will be rewarded 10X.
Because youll both learn 10X faster, and youll also garner huge respect.
You dont need a huge to-do list.
You just need to know the FIRST thing youre going to do.
Right before bed, you set the stage for all that will happen EVEN WHILE YOU SLEEP.
When you wake up the next morning, youll be primed for success.
The only thing you’re gonna wanna do is immediately get out of bed.
Dont renegotiate with your pillow.
Youre in no state to make a decision.
You already made that decision.
So just get up, get moving, and have an incredible morning.
Then have an incredible day.
Then have an incredible year.
And then make an amazing life.
Successful mornings dont happen by chance.
They happen by choice.
Neither does a successful life.
