Youre not what other people say you are.
The sad part is, I know Im not even there yet.
Im only just starting to get a feel for who I am as an individual.
Samantha Gades
Growing up, it can be difficult to find yourself.
Youre young, naive, vulnerable and easily-influenced.
Its all about fitting in, whatever that means.
Samantha Gades
Dressing a certain way, looking a certain way, saying certain things and doing certain things.
Twenty-three years later, Ive finally understood how sick that thought process is.
It wasnt until that realization hit me that I realized who I really might be.
Acknowledge.I now am able recognize my problems for what they are and feel comfortable acknowledging them all.
Accept.Make peace with your past.
Youre only human, youre going to make mistakes.
Your past, your mistakes…they dont define you, they simply add chapters to your story.
Understand the place you were coming from and the person you were in your past.
Understand why you did what you did, and accept it.
The past is in the past.
Understand.Listen, dont get me wrong I am opinionated.
But Ive come to understand that everyone has opinions and everyones opinions will differ.
That doesnt make me wrong, nor them.
Apologize.Ive learned you dont get to decide when youve hurt someone else.
Truly, I feel sorry for these people.
The ones who care so much about being liked by everyone.
At the end of the day, you cannot and will not kindly everyone.
Not everyone will like you, and thats okay.
So, you should unapologetically be your authentic self.
It sucks, but thats the way it is.
Whatever theyre saying, dont let any of it get to you.
The people who have the most to say are always the people who know you the least.
What others are saying about you is none of your business.
Forgive.Life is way too short.
The people who talk behind your back, forgive them.
The people who spread rumors, forgive them.
The people who hurt you, forgive them.
Its not worth getting stuck in petty, arbitrary drama.
Hate is heavy, so let it go.
Make room for the people who want to be there.
Its OK to not be OK.When you feel like crying, cry.
When you feel like screaming, scream.
We were meant to feel real, raw emotion.
Feeling these feelings just means youre human, and its healthy to feel these things.
We were not made to be indestructible robots.
We were made to feel, so feel.
Be kind.You have no idea what anyone is going through in their lives.
Its actually very easy to come across as happy-go-lucky and carefree on the outside, but be dying internally.
The last thing anyone needs is your cruel words, rumors or judgmental thoughts.
Understand that everyone is going through something and its never acceptable to pass judgment on anyone.
Its part of growing up and growing as a person.
I encourage you to change, to evolve.
Challenge yourself to change, to be different and to grow.
Ask for help.Asking for help doesnt make you weak, it makes you strong.
Strong, in the sense that you understand that sometimes not all challenges can be faced alone.
Talk about these things.
I think growing up means becoming more decisive in general.
Everyone who has walked into and out of your life has taught you something.
Disconnect.Its okay to lose touch with certain people.
Losing touch with people is normal, and sometimes healthy.
Understand that anyone you have crossed paths with was meant to touch your life in some way.
To help you learn or grow.
Work on yourself.This one may be one of the biggest for me.
This one is when I knew I was growing up and finding myself.
Be honest.Be honest with your friends.
Be honest with your family.
Be honest with yourself.
When youre truthful, you put things in your past.
Telling lies becomes part of your future.
This one, too, comes with time.
Its easier to be self-aware when youre more in tune to who you are.
Learn the good choices from the bad ones.
Someones opinion of you is just that, their opinion.
That doesnt make it true.
That doesnt mean thats who you are.
Dont let someone have that sort of control over you.
People form opinions off of arbitrary things, rumors and twisted stories.
Date.If you havent found the one, hey stop panicking.
Youre young, youre supposed to put yourself out there and date people.
Dont be closed off to any opportunities.
Listen, there is no timeline on your life.
There is no rush.
There is no timer that says if you havent done X by age X, youre too late.
Understand that everyone moves at their own pace and everything that is meant to happen to you, will.
But it will happen naturally the way your life is meant to run its course.
Dont have a go at force anything.
God laughs when you make plans.
Try new things.We are creatures of habit.
Your life is too short to be reliving the same experiences.
