Dangerous people feel like home.
This is becauseadult children of narcissiststend to become subconsciously drawn to dangerous people as a result of their upbringing.
Their bodies and minds are accustomed to chaos and even biochemically addicted to it due to these early traumas.
Karolina Grabowska
You are still working through ancient programming and beliefs.
Your independence is vital for your own safety and well-being.
So is your alone time.
But for you, its absolute bliss.
People often comment on how you seem to have wisdom beyond your years.
Yet as an adult you find yourself still feeling like a child at times.
Thats because as a kid, you were simultaneously infantilizedandparentified.
You grapple with the unmet needs of childhood as you learn to set healthier boundaries andreparent yourself.
As an adult, you fear retaliation for owning your strengths and gifts.
You often shortchange yourself and believe youre unworthy or undeserving even if youre overqualified.
They may be overwhelmed and terrified by their intense rage or sadness.
As a child, you were usually punished for having emotions at all and emotionally invalidated.
You gravitate toward narcissists, and they gravitate towards you.
Thats because you do not fear getting hurt because you know the relationship cant truly come into fruition.
Thats because you had to transform all the crises of your childhood into opportunities for survival.
This can be an adaptive trauma response that guides you through lifes adversity in adulthood.
As a result, you may have a hard time setting boundaries and turn to people-pleasing orfawningas self-protection.
Youre hypervigilant to everything.
You are especially adept at reading microexpressions, shifts in tone, gestures, and nonverbal cues.
Thats because ongoingcomplex traumahas trained your brain to escape from reality as a survival mechanism.
You may also find yourself turning to activities that enhance that dissociation.
You vacillate between oversharing and being terrified of being vulnerable.
Yet they also abandon themselves and deprive themselves of nourishment and self-care.
This sense of confusion can erode your sense of self.
You were not given the freedom to be yourself or grow into who you authentically were.
You have a need to control your environment.Adult children of narcissists are extremely micromanaged and controlled by their parents.
They were never given the agency to make their own decisions freely without a price.
As a result, they may fear losing control as adults.
They may venture to micromanage their relationships or control their circumstances to assuage these fears.
You were likely under constant surveillance.
You learned how to lie and hide many aspects of your life to protect yourself from their abuse.
Now as an adult, you still keep your secrets close and your circle tight.
For you, its the only way to survive and not risk someone using your personal information against you.
You have a hard time asking for help.
For adult children of narcissists, its double the wounding with triple the power.
It not only adds salt to the wound, it creates a whole new psychological injury.
Yet its still worth validating the sacrifices they were forced to make to get there.
Low contact or no contact depending on your circumstances are often needed for true healing.
