I left when I woke up with her hands around my throat."
By
Updated 8 years ago,August 9, 2017
1.
I left when I woke up with her hands around my throat.
Flickr /Dion Gillard
I left when I woke up with her hands around my throat.
She was suicidal andbipolar, I wanted to help her through her issues.
It wasnt until I realized that I facing the reality that I could be killed that I left.
Flickr /Dion Gillard
I never hit back and rarely defended myself.
I still blame myself for not being able to help her the way that she needed it.
I called so that I could leave without any more trouble and almost got arrested for it.
No one under any circumstance deserves abuse, no matter who is the victim.
There is a real stigma againstmale victims of domestic abuse.
conshey
2.
I left my abusive ex the day I hit back.
I left myabusiveex the day I hit back.
She tried to have me arrested, the cops saw I was more tore up than she.
Plus all the nasty texts she sent me did her no favors in court.
litefoot
3.
The worst thing she did was rape me.
It was my first relationship this was almost a year ago.
The worst thing she did was rape me.
She asked me multiple more times each time I said no.
She then grabbed my dick and sits on it and starts bouncing.
Shes way bigger than me so I couldnt throw her off.
I yell at her to get off and she says just a little longer.
At that point, I wanted to kill her.
I told her to get off of me and she did.
At first I didnt think much about it but then it really dawned on me.
After that I refused sex all together and broke up with her 2 months later.
poopiefacejenkins
4.
We got into an argument.
She punched me in the face.
We got into an argument.
She punched me in the face.
Finally moved in with some friends.
justdewit_420
5.
I left the day I wanted to hit her back.
I left the day I wanted to hit her back.
Nope, the thought of all the bullshit I would go through if I level you scares me.
RustaBhymes
6.
She would grab a glass, a plate, an ironand throw it at me full force.
People generally have this misconception when they think of woman-on-man spouse abuse.
They imagine a woman overpowering a weak, cowardly man and smirk at the idea.
Why are you behaving like this?
Why did you say that about me to them?
Haha, oh babe Im only joking dont be so weak…
Gaslighting I believe its called?
Another thing is testing you.
For the record, Im 62 and 190 lbs., she was 56 and average build.
AonghusMacKilkenny
7.
The thing about a S.O.
is they really know what makes you tick; I mean that like a time bomb.
Oh, and theres this new guy at work, hes young and so very handsome.
He likes to brush up against me when we walk by each other (kitchen line/tight space/etc.
), but its ok he already has a GF.
My cousins husband got her areallyexpensive purse and is taking her on vacation.
Too bad youre poor.
Maybe you should get a second job, even though you already pay for EVERYTHING.
Things got worse and worse over the years (almost 10).
I was stuck in a prison, in my own home.
She had all the power over me and she loved it.
To teach you a lesson.
Its been over a year now since I left.
I occasionally wonder how it couldve started out so perfect, then descend into the depths of hell.
Sometimes you never really know someone, even the one you love most of all.
Fenway_Refugee
8.
But every now and then there would just be this onslaught of abuse.
We hit it off immediately really well.
She actually wanted me to move to be with her after a couple weeks.
Talk of being soulmates as we really clicked.
But every now and then there would just be this onslaught of abuse.
Nasty and hurtful and Id just sit there thinking, Where the fuck did this come from?
And when those moments passed, she was wonderful.
Then I got to thinking that the abusive moments were increasing.
It got to the point where I was afraid of what she might do during her rampages.
Im a big guy but seriously started to fear for my safety.
Started looking up on the Internet to figure her out.
Once I came across Borderline Personality Disorder, my mind was blown.
It was like literally reading the playbook to her mind.
Tried to break up with her.
Shed still get back into my life.
No contact would just have her out for revenge.
A good way to break up with somebody abusive is something called thegrey rock technique.
Its basically make yourself seem as uninteresting and boring as possible.
He/she does not like boredom, loses interest and moves on.
Lessons Learned:
True deep relationships take time to build and are very slow.
Watch out for people who are always the victim.
If youre looking up your gf/bfs behavior on the internet, you probably need to get out.
Have strong personal boundaries.
Never be afraid to say no or to leave.
And finally, there was a problem with me, too.
It takes two people for an abusive relationship to happen.
Strong personal boundaries, healthy self-esteemthese are what keep abusers away.
anonthrowaway900
9.
Anyway, when we moved, the day before signing the lease she lost her job.
The first time she hit me was about a week after we moved in together.
In terms of job she eventually got a semi part time job but never attempted to get full time.
Shed make it known when we were leaving that it was my fault and that I was being grumpy.
She was about $120,000 in debt from school and credit cards.
Never mind I was working 12-14 hour days 6 days a week and was a very clean person.
egnards
10.
For me, realizing I was worth more than I thought was the key.
I was in a relationship that was abusive.
Shed cheat and say it was none of my business.
We broke up again and found out she was pregnant.
We decided to put the kid up for adoption when I said I wasnt coming back.
A couple weeks before the birth, she decided she couldnt be without her child.
Eventually she went back to college out of town and the baby was with me full time.
Even then, things were tense.
I do have to admit she did well in that regard.
She moved back and started being a bigger part of our kids life when our daughter was around five.
It has been eight years since then and we have both grown a whole lot.
For me, realizing I was worth more than I thought was the key.
Everything worked out amazingly well in the end.
Her mom goes out of her way to do exciting things with her and facilitate activities for her.
I will say that if you feel that way you are not in a healthy relationship, though.
you’re gonna wanna decide what to do and what you want and deserve.
We tend to isolate ourselves in unhealthy/abusive relationships and think we are alone, you are not.
Yoter
11.
She hurt my feelings and shit on my self-esteem and I was just miserable.
Left her honestly after it was about the 6th time we were in a fight.
She was more manipulative and controlling and just abusive to me when she didnt get her way.
She called it being blunt and she did it because she loved me.
Being blunt doesnt equal love.
How the fuck old are you?
Woman kindly, she hurt my feelings and shit on my self-esteem and I was just miserable.
And it was showing to everyone even to my old man.
When I dumped her, I felt nothing but fucking amazing feelings of freedom.
And Im still happy, but man I will admit the sex was great.
KingofSnipers
12.
I just kept telling myself it was because of her passed.
Oh man, I really tried to help her… A few times I had to call her dad to come get her.
As soon as I stopped she got in and almost made me crash 3-4 times.
Im not the best manbut no one deserves to be treated like that…
I still trigger the charity for domestic abuse.
mooosicman
13.
I have two from my long and varied love life.
The main event at the end dragged on.
For weeks she disrupted my sleep, showing up at all hours crying and banging on my door.
Finally one night I was nearly insane from sleep deprivation and head games/gaslighting.
That was the last time I ever saw or heard from her.
It was some time before I finally slept soundly the whole night.
She was a great girlfriend for almost a year.
Then her junkie sister died and sent her into a spiral of misplaced guilt and suddenly unsuppressed molestation memory.
She became CONVINCED that I was cheating.
She was nice at first, trying to apologize and reconcile.
When I continued to ignore her, she started breaking my collection of plants potted in expensive ceramic pots.
The 911 operator could hear the crashes through two walls and closed doors.
I held her in an arm bar till the police arrived and took custody of her.
and removed the cuffs.
(Damn you, Duluth Model!)
She ended up on a psychiatric hold, and a few days jail time.
The kicker- who accompanied her to court that day?
TurgidJusticeBoner
14.
I had a girlfriend that would punch the wall next to my head.
I had a girlfriend that would punch the wall next to my head.
Also, would push me down during arguments.
She also would constantly accuse me of cheating on her.
I actually cheated on her once.
She did her usually accusation, and I calmly, without joy, admitted I did the night before.
She trashed my apartment, but didnt hurt me.
We worked together, so I had to see her every day.
She would glare at me, but didnt say anything.
I never gave in.
I had no self-esteem back then, and drank every day.
I quit drinking, got married, and just had my second kid.
Life isnt perfect today, but it is a hell of a lot better than it used to be.
I hope you got help, M_____.
najing_ftw
15.
Its very easy to say Bro, just dump her.
But its not that easy when shes constantly implying that she will kill herself if the relationship ends.
Recently left one (or am at least trying to…she wont go away quietly).
It wasnt physically abusive.
Nor was she ever maliciously mentally abusive (like she didnt belittle me).
It was a different punch in of abuse I cant readily explain.
She was very controlling and manipulative.
She would lie and dramatize to make herself a victim in virtually any situation.
She would threaten to kill herself if I left.
Its very easy to say Bro, just dump her.
I finally left her yesterday.
I was nothing but nice to her.
She has not gone away quietly.
It is still in progress.
She is blowing up my phone telling me how horrible of a person I am.
Unfortunately, she left tons of stuff at my house.
TL; DR. Left girl yesterday who was not physically abusive but incredibly manipulative and vindictive.
Currently nervous about whats going to happen.
CalculonsPride
16.
She was raised in an abusive household.
Where her father often got drunk and beat the mom, quite often.
He was still abusive when I went to see them, the guy didnt hide it from anyone.
She was raised with the thought that when you do something incorrect, there will be repercussions.
Anyway, we moved in together rather quickly.
She was hard to live with from the onset.
My family liked her, but distrusted her.
She was not an alcoholic per se, but she drank when problems arose.
The first event where our relationship went from declining to toxic happened in the first 6 months together.
Broke my dresser by throwing it down.
Broke my phone, broke her phone that I bought her.
After a 3-year relationship, I left telling her that Im calling it quits.
Ever since then, I have doing much better.
Im in a relationship that I can say that I am 120% happy.
YourOKNeighbourhood
17.
Eventually she got drunk and punched me in the face hard enough to break my nose.
I got her in the side of the head pretty much right on her ear.
I didnt press charges, and we went our separate ways.
Saladconnoisseur
18.
The whole thing was a roller coaster ride and coworkers could see I was being abused.
Essential a new department opened up and people needed to train for it, we were selected.
We had never been romantic, never kissed, held hands etc.
If it was a work-related topic my SO would huff and puff.
I would be on this hill maybe two hours a day several times a week and so on.
It was a light-hearted conversation about having seen each other in the canyon before.
She commented on my rad skating and continued on her jog never to be seen again.
But for some reason logic didnt help here.
I ended up apologizing for being a good skater, I guess?
And attracting the attention of a random stranger?
This got so bad that I tried to break up with her but she told me she was pregnant.
It was a real possibility because we had sex a lot.
Me being the individual I am, I dont just want to walk out.
I stay, give a shot to make it work.
The next two months?
First, she is pregnant.
She tells me I stressed her out and she lost it.
She is crying, sobbing.
Then she tells me that wait, she had twins and lost one but still has the other.
I am still a dad.
She tries to abort that to make me happy, because we cant work as a couple.
The abortion pill didnt work.
Im still a dad.
She lost it and I am no longer a Dad.
At the very end of it all, she admitted to never even being pregnant.
then she ended up telling them she was never pregnant and I got apologies from them as well.
The whole thing was a roller coaster ride and coworkers could see I was being abused.
I had a lot of people telling me she was crazy and they felt bad.
But dang, I miss the way she bounced on my diddler.
I hear she is pregnant again through someone else.
Chongotheinfinate
19.
So, I met Anne (fake name) my second year in college.
There were warning signs.
She was adamant about spending time with me, and I was more than happy to oblige.
Then, the anger started to come out.
Needless to say, I ended up being with her for almost four years.
This happened a few more times.
One time, the longest, I started seeing another woman at our school.
This was when the worst of it really began.
So, as far as fights go, here is an example.
She would go back home on weekends often to work and help out with her (elderly) parents.
Most everybody loved her, thought she was funny and endearing in a weird, quirky way.
See, I eventually came to blame myself for everything.
I did eventually leave her.
We were approaching graduationshe found a job in the area and was planning on doing grad school nearby.
I, not being from around there, was not sure what I was going to do.
She started hinting very, very strongly that she wanted me to propose to her.
Ill never forget the looks on their faces, they were horrified.
When I got back to school, I brought this up with some friends there, who all agreed.
Whats the most painful thing for me is the toll it takes on my wife.
I am mostly okay now.
pictureframesday
20.
We were married for 12 years.
2 kids, one with special needs.
Things started well, but I was the proverbial frog in the pot.
Took out about 15 credit cards, maxed them all out.
Thankfully, only the big ones had my name on them.
She was a hoarder, to boot.
When I made any kind of decision, shed end up crying.
She made friends with every person I met.
Completely took over my social life, had to be there.
There was no escape.
I had to figure out what was wrong with me.
Turns out, it was only due to the fact that I was married to a harpy.
And yet, its still a vast improvement from what it once was.
I dont blame her for itIm pretty sure I know where it all came from.
WotanLambert
21.
I left the day I was let out of jail for defending myself after she stabbed me.
I left the day I was let out of jail for defending myself after she stabbed me.
The cops knew it was her but we dont arrest women, you should man up.
Not that he fucking prosecutor her though.
ChicDoom
22.
I was holding my infant son and she got mad at me for some reason.
She threw a plate at me.
One time we were having a disagreement.
Nothing heated, just a difference of opinion.
She hauls off and slaps me full force in the face.
I was holding my infant son and she got mad at me for some reason.
She threw a plate at me.
Once the plate shattered, she accused me of hitting the plate with my arm and breaking it.
Another time she was mad for some reason and threw a plate full of food directly at me.
Plate broke and food went everywhere.
Naroller
23.
She would punch and hit me in the gut.
Girlfriend of a year and 7 months.
First few months were okay, nothing great nothing bad.
But then it started to get worse as she joined my hobbies.
She would punch and hit me in the gut.
Even if my friends and teammates were standing 10 feet away.
She wailed on me.
A year down the line and it turns to slapping and shots to the groin.
And she just calmly took herself out of my life.
Ive seen her twice since then and I never spoke a word to her.
007agentHP
24.
I was either punched in the stomach and bruised, slapped across the face, or pushed into objects.
It lasted about two years.
We were nearly living together.
After Id gone to bed.
I was expected to drive her everywhere.
Hell, I paid for everything.
Anything I needed emotionally was always second priority.
If Id had a bad day and needed some space, she was scared I was mad at her.
She apparently did the same thing to that same ex with the exbefore him.
She ostracized me from my own family.
Id go back to hers the day after Christmas and stay the rest of winter break.
I was there every spring break.
She was my first ever relationship.
She was my entire world at college and she knew it.
