“Wait 5-10 minutes before deciding if the argument will be worth it.”
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Updated 8 years ago,May 29, 2017
1.
Wait 5-10 minutes before deciding if the argument will be worth it.
Scott Webb
Wait 5-10 minutes before deciding if youreallygive a shit about whatever it is youre about to argue over.
Chances are, you only thought you gave a shit.
liquorlanche
2.
Scott Webb
Try not to spend every second of every day together.
Try not to spend every second of every day together.
see to it you both have some alone time.
Youll value the time you do have together more.
You cant miss someone if theyre never gone.
Reiso123
3.
If you dont, youll mention it in a fight or whatever and then it wont come out rationally.
Not everything about a relationship is perfect.
Talking about problems or potential problems is not an admission of failure.
SpantasticFoonerism
4.
Treat your S/O as equals in every way.
Treat your S/O asequalsin every way.
Make quality time to be together, just the two of you.
Bach2Bach
5.
Give without the intention to get.
Did it kill an afternoon?
Has she been in an awesome mood ever since (1 week later).
Take time to listen and understandsitting down and letting her vent if shes in a bad mood.
She will probably say something like, you probably dont even care.
Thats when you reinforce that you truly do care.
Cuddlesometimes just because, without intention of anything else happening.
Just a nice rub of the shoulders and holding each other tightly.
Its showing love rather than just saying.
Complimenttake the time to compliment BEFORE prompted.
Hey babe that dress really looks nice on you, as shes getting ready.
Show her how much you appreciate the effort that she puts in.
Ask for opinionsthis kind of goes along with listening.
Many time guys get gung ho and start just doing shit.
Take the time, especially if its a two-person project to get her opinion.
Start with something like I think we should do x.
What do you think?
Instead of This is how we are going to/this is how it should be done.
mattyisphtty
6.
Remember to fight the problem, not each other.
Its not you versus her in anything.
Its the both of you against the problem.
To men who tend to look for solutions in all things, miscommunication can be the problem.
Sometimes you shouldnt go into problem solving mode if that itself creates problems between you.
She may just want someone to vent to, to commiserate with, or to take her side.
Go to bed angry, wake up and talk it out.
Just dont invite that into your life.
But likewise too, you cant let problems fester: talk about it, calmly, within 24 hours.
You should feel like youre doing 80% of the work, because shell feel the same.
Youre aware of everything youre doing for her, even the behind the scenes stuff she doesnt realize.
Likewise the other way around.
On 80% of the things she does that annoy you, just learn to live with it.
No one is the fantasy in your head.
techniforus
7.
Never take them for granted.
Dont take your partner for granted.
ibkeepr
8.
Just be there and stop trying to solve their problems.
So much of what women want is justbeing there.
She doesnt want your help picking out her outfit, or solving a dispute with her bitchy co-workers.
Just sit there and listen while providing enough commentary to show you are payingsomeattention.
MajorMustard
9.
Dont make a run at offer solutions to every problem they come to you with.
Dont have a go at offer solutions to every problem she comes to you with.
Sometimes shes just venting to you.
Link-to-the-Pastiche
10.
Arguing isnt really worth it, its just going to ruin the relationship.
If you argue over petty stuff, youre going to lose her.
Be there for her.
That doesnt mean solve all of her problems.
Let her rant to you about what she has to rant about.
Chances are, she just needs to get it out of her system.
Dont act like shes dependent.
Shes her own person.
She can solve her problems and get work done on her own.
Let her know youre willing to help, but if she wants to do it herself, LET HER.
If a woman has her mind set on something, shes going to do it.
You dont own her.
Its stupid to get mad at her for living her life.
You have to be open about communication though.
If you talk to her about it, shes more inclined to compromise.
Just a simple You look great today or I like how you did your hair today.
Is enough to brighten her day a bit.
A7XfoREVer15
11.
Learn how to argue constructively.
Married for 13 years.
Learn good communication if you dont have it, and learnhowto argue.
Everyone will at some point, but doing it badly can make a relationship that much more difficult.
Dont forget about the little things that can make a persons day.
Both of you will make mistakes at some point, dont point out their flaws without acknowledging yours.
Lastly, be honest.
Good or bad, things go a lot smoother with them when youre honest with them, and yourself.
mexipimpin
12.
Take a deep breath and let go.
Take a deep breath and let go.
Remember that this situation/argument isnotthe definitive moment.
It took me to stop for us to realize how desensitized wed become to just having arguments.
ZoomJet
13.
Have a bar of chocolate hidden somewhere.
Have a bar of chocolate hidden somewhere.
Shell be glad for it, and you look considerate.
Nambot
14.
Stand up for yourself when you actually disagree about something.
Stand up for yourself when she tries to get you to agree to things you actually disagree with.
I know, I know But…but…I want to avoid conflict.
Being open and honest about how you feel at all times will lead to WAAAAAY more stability later on.
This does NOT mean answer truthfully to her Does this make me look fat?
pop in questions at all times.
I mean on actual big decisions and things where she has to twist your arm into doing it.
Tell her how you feel about it.
And on the more sensitive side, get in the habit of letting her/him vent to you.
Tell them that you love them more than once a month.
And pretend you like their friends unless they have actually shitty friends.
Ori15n
15.
Learn how to spend time apart.
I need you to go away for an hour.
_Amarok
16.
Keep things tidy and clean.
Whats worked for me:
Listen with intent every time she speaks.
You cant take it personally when something out of your control affects her.
So many dudes want to fix every little thing, and thats not always possible.
Keep things tidy and clean.
Help when and where you’ve got the option to, even if that means paying an expert.
Dont be afraid of being emotionally vulnerable around her.
Inside jokes have a long shelf-life.
pugs_fugly_moe
17.
Know when to be quiet.
Knowing when to shut the fuck up.
When she tells you her problems do not tell her how to fix them.
Do not worry about being right.
ManBearPigTrump
18.
Sometimes, its not necessary to think the same way about everything.
Allow each other the freedom to respectfully disagree.
That allows each other to be oneself and not feel threatened.
catdude142
19.
Learn how to listen.
Like, listen to your partners words and hear them.
Roll your partners words around your brain like fine wine inside your mouth.
Wet your mental pallet.
NeatWhiskeyPlease
20.
Learn to admit when you are wrong.
This advice is for men and women.
Learn to admit when you are wrong.
There is nothing wrong with being wrong.
Everyone will be a lot many many things in their life.
Clean on a set day and time.
The house hold chores should be an even 50/50 split unless one of you is a stay at home.
Flowers all the time if they like them, if they dont find something small they do like.
I buy my girlfriend flowers maybe once every other week.
I had one bouquet from Walmart last well over a month.
And probably most importantly do not keep secrets from them or have secret friends or anything like that.
All that does is breed mistrust.
I_am_jacks_reddit
21.
Dont put your significant other down, ever.
Dont put your significant other down, ever.
Youre supposed to raise each other up.
Maintain a sense of individuality.
The other person fell in love with you, your quirks, your idiosyncrasies, and your persona.
Sometimes you will have to be strong for the other person, sometimes for a really long time.
Do this without complaint or a sense of martyrdom.
__Raistlin
22.
Be quick to apologize.
Heres what works for us… Be quick to say Im sorry.
Be even quicker to say I forgive you, even if you dont feel like it at the time.
Just getting the words out starts the healing.
We dont divide chores, we do them together.
Dont sweat the small stuff.
(Most things are small).
Find things to laugh about.
One checking account, youre married, not roommates.
Practice your faith together.
Go to bed at the same time together every night.
If shes sick, take care of her.
There are people and things out there that would love to tear you apart.
We did not live together before we got married.
Weve been married for 29 years.
shtftome
23.
Dont fight over the little things.
Give up sometimes on the little things.
That is small things that may annoy you but in the grand scheme of things are inconsequential.
For instance, my wife and I have a double sink in the bathroom.
tl:dr There is potential to let small idiosyncrasies get under your skin and cause problems/fights.
If theyre really not that big of a deal, dont make them a big deal.
youPCbruh
24.
Realize that you have to keep working at it.
Realize that you have to continually work at marriage to make it work well.
It will not survive on its own.
Realize that (most) womens basic needs in a marriage are to feel loved and safe.
confirm she knows youre not going anywhere and that you have her back.
Viking042900
25.
Works for me now more than any relationship Ive had.
