I DON’T WANT TO DIE!
I DON’T WANT TO DIE!
I DON’T WANT TO DIE!
Daan Stevens
I DON’T WANT TO DIE!
Im an emergency nurse, and theres one thing that always gets me when patients die.
Not what they say, but what their husband/wife/parents say when theyve gone.
What do I do without her?
It breaks me every time.
Had a patient in her 30s who was dying after being hit by a drunk driver.
Her husband was at the bedside repeating What do I do?
What do I do?
They had already lost their baby girl in the accident.
Every healthcare worker who entered that room was deeply affected by that.
(Nurse) In hospital caring for 40ish man with brain tumor, coming in and out of consciousness.
Not to be resuscitated.
His 16 year-old daughter was crying non-stop for 12 hours.
The only response we observed with.
her vocalization was that this by now profoundly unconscious patient took her hand to his lips and kissed it.
He stopped breathing very soon after that.
I am haunted, but not in a bad way.
My husband is a PICU nurse and one morning he came home in a bit of a daze.
Before falling asleep the little boy said You were my favorite.
The boy passed away in the morning, his little heart gave out and refused to restart.
Although all patients are important, some leave more of an impression than others.
That was the only patients funeral he has ever attended.
Sweet guy in his 20s with endocarditis (heart valve infection) triggered by IV drug abuse.
He did not survive the surgery.
She was losing her battle, and her family wasnt there.
Were right here with you; its ok to leave.
The patient immediately calmed, put her head back on the pillow and died.
I knew I wanted to be that nurse when I grew up.
How the hell did she know just what to do and say?
Ive never forgotten it.
When I was a senior resident a young man (late 20s) was admitted for pneumonia.
He got worse quickly and I was called to his room to help while on call that night.
He was having trouble breathing and needed intubated.
He agreed and we got everything ready.
The last thing he said to me was Doc, yo dont let me die.
I told him I would do my very best.
I got him intubated and transferred to the ICU.
A few weeks later I was on call covering the ICU and he was barely hanging on.
I knew he would not make it through the night.
He went into V-fib several times and I was able to bring him back, but only briefly.
He was just too sick and he died shortly after that.
Most elderly people are at ease as they get nearer and nearer to death.
I DONT WANT TO DIE!
I DONT WANT TO DIE!
I DONT WANT TO DIE!
Really heartbreaking to see.
They wont let me.
He told me he loved me too, but no I wouldnt.
He was right, he died a week later of pneumonia.
She died shortly after I got off shift.
I placed a tourniquet and was ready to stick, then he looked at me and said Im dying.
I checked his pupils; I watched one dilate & the other constrict.
We coded him; never got him back.
Hospice nurse here- had a patient who was experiencing terminal agitation.
With an expression of complete terror on his face he said help me!
They are coming to get me.
The last thing he said before going upstairs was Im going to rest.
That weirded her out because he never spoke like that.
Then spun around around and fell to the floor for dramatic effect.
None of us realized it and laughed along.
Thats when the screaming started.
Absolutely fucked me as a 14 year old to realize we could all just drop dead at any moment.
My pop died of lung cancer.
Im tired and I want to go to bed.
I had a little drink about an hour ago and it went right to my head.
It was really pretty amazing and freaky at the same time.
Working caregiver in my earlier days I overheard an old woman console her dying husband.
Went like this..
Dammit jim you have beat so many things in your life.
For heavens sake you beat that murder charge for that guy you killed.
it’s possible for you to beat this..
She did not know I was listening.
Dude died the next day.
Its not words that haunt me.
Its the last few agonal breaths, gasping and gurgling, before they are gone.
I still remember the first patient I lost as we stood by as per patient/family request.
He was suffering from dementia and clearly on the way out he no longer recognized people.
Anyway, were sitting there, and great-uncle is snoozing.
My father is quieter than normal and just saying yes over and over as he describes the barn.
Then, just before great-uncle loses consciousness, he describes going into the barn and setting it on fire.
Everyone suspected, but never knew for sure.
He was a healthy guy.
Did yoga every day, walked a few miles 5 days a week.
Genuinely nice guy which is always a bad prognostic sign.
Later that morning I was checking on him again and he didnt look so good.
He goes into the arrhythmia again, drops his blood pressure, and is in and out of consciousness.
Not a medical worker, but my friends husband was dying from cancer.
Hed done lots of chemo and one surgery and overall his prognoses looked really good.
My friend had been with him and was going back home to sleep for the night.
Ill be back in the morning
Couple hours later he was gone.
As a Pediatrician, i dont hear alot of last words.
Probably 90-100 years old.
Her daughter left the room to get coffee and my buddy had to check on her vitals.
Then she woke up, smiled and got teary eyed.
She said i knew youd come back for me, im sorry i didnt marry you.
My family wouldnt let me.
But i will now, i promise.
My buddy just held her hand and smiled.
She laid back and closed her eyes and her heart stopped.
She had a DNR and was gone just like that.
Her daughter had no clue what she meant.
Her husband had been dead for 10 years and they were married since they were 20.
Because she was looking right at him when she spoke.
Idk, shits weird.
I was with my father as he lay dying in the hospital.
My blood ran cold and I quickly looked over my should and there was an empty chair there.
I was about five or six when my grandfather was on his deathbed.
and then he passed about ten seconds later.
We were all super confused.
About three months later I almost died from suffocation after eating some salsa.
At the hospital I was diagnosed with a capsaicin allergy (Spicy food).
To this day it still creeps me out.
No one knew I was allergic before then, and I didnt show any signs either.
Mommy, whyre you crying?
