Im sorry I cancel plans so often.
Its never your fault and I wish I could explain my anxiety and mental illness better.
And if you live with a mental health condition, your needs may feel…well, extra needy.
Aidan Meyer
You might be able to relate:
1.
Im sorry I cancel plans so often.
I dont know how to ask for help.
I dont always know what I need or why I am triggered.
Sometimes with my depression, I dont want to make plans with someone because I want to be alone.
Its really not your fault, its me.
Aidan Meyer
Mental illness is exhausting!
This is a situation not of my own making.
And its not something I can just walk away from.
I cant just think positively and have it all disappear.
I fear I will never feel like myself again, and I miss me.
But I am trying.
I struggle every hour of every day.
There is so much you dont see.
From the outside it all seems so easy, but its not.
I cry a lot.
I break down a lot.
It can be devastating.
I promise I care about your problems, too.
Im ignoring everything else because it is taking all my focus right now to breathe.
In the times when I dont reach out to you, thats probably when I need you the most.
My mental illness has convinced me Im not worthy of help and care, so I retreat.
You showing care and kindness can help me see what my mind is telling me isnt true.
That there are people who care.
Sometimes all it takes is a text message.
Im not avoiding you, I promise.
Im not mad, just anxious.
Dont keep telling me, Its going to be fine.
Dont ask me, You seem like youre in a bad mood, are you taking your medications?
We can have bad days too.
Im not broken, dont treat me like I am.
I wish you could understand why I dont text you first.
Im sorry it sounds like Im making excuses.
Im not trying to.
Im sorry I seem to be so focused on myself, that I rarely focus on you.
Even if we dont talk much, I know youre there, and that makes all the difference.
Support from friends and family matters a lot!
- just, let me know you care.
Because even though the reality may be otherwise, I fear you dont.
All I ask is for you to be there and comfort me, help me get through it.
Even if I say I need to be alone, the opposite may be true.
Just let me know youll be there and youll listen.
You dont have to say anything or make a run at fix me.
Im sorry I go quiet instead of talking to you.
Its not that I dont enjoy talking.
Im sorry for worrying you half to death, its not anyones fault.
I may look confident, happy, strong.
Deep down Im screaming, pleading for help.
I cry myself to sleep every night, and force myself to get up every single morning.
Having a mental illness weighs me down constantly.
Because you will only see me smile and hear my laughter.
Im sorry I upset you when I constantly cancel our plans.
I know I need and want your company, but sometimes I feel like mine is a burden.
I appreciate your kindness even if you dont understand what Im going through.
yo be patient with me!
I do care and I do try my best.
My illness doesnt ask; the sadness just takes over no matter where you are and when.
My mental illnesses are extremely exhausting.
It just takes me double the energy to get things done than it does for other people.
Im not fragile, Im not going to break.
Stop walking on egg shells around me.
I want to express my gratitude to you.
Because without you, I wouldnt be fighting this hard.
Without you, being well and healthy wouldnt be this exciting.
I strive to be balanced because seeing you worrying about me makes me feel awful.
