Take a deep breath and analyze why you are tired of being single.
These phases usually happen when you are young or fresh out of a breakup.
But then there are the stages where you hate being single.
Eye for Ebony
This is not a fun stage.
I know this because Ive been there.
If youre currently struggling with your single status, here are three steps to help change your mindset.
Take A Step Back
First, take a deep breath and lets analyzewhyyou are tired of being single.
It is critical that you open your mind and be honest with yourself about this.
What are you attaching to your single status?
It is most likely either a meaning or a fear.
You think it means you are unattractive, uninteresting, or unlovable.
And I will argue that isnt thereasonyou are unhappy being single; that is fueling a fear.
If you are still single tomorrow, does that mean you wont get married and have children?
If you are still single next week… you see my point.
The fact that you are single right now predicts nothing about the future.
It only describes the present.
Its important to identify what you are attaching to being single that is making you uncomfortable.
Once you know what it is, you could question itask if it is true.
(Hint: the answer is no.)
Your relationship status does not define any aspect of you or your life.
However, how youfeelabout it provides all kinds of valuable insight.
If you dont like being alone, that means you dont like hanging out with yourself.
Really think about that for a minuteyou dont like hanging out with yourself.
Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you will ever be in.
It sets the stage for every other relationship in your life.
You have to first figure outwhyyou dont like being single to get to work through it.
Heads up, your answers wont be pleasant.
They almost always tie back to feelings of unworthiness, that you arent enough.
I know, I know, youve been there, done that.
But heres the thinghave you really done it?
Butwhyare you really doing all that?
What do you want to happen?
I mean finding your happily ever after with you.
First, revisit how you spend your time.
What are the things you enjoy doing but never make time to do?
What have you always wanted to learn or try but havent yet?
Get back in touch with yourself, who you are at your core and what you enjoy doing.
Do things for YOU.
Next, go internal.
Find a way to know that you are enough.
That is true self-love.
Maybe that means therapy or maybe it means a lot of time spent just thinking.
It looks different for everyone and its your call.
Do whatever works for you.
That is A LOT of pressure to put on any given day and any given date.
It causes a rollercoaster of emotions that only feeds into the panic and fear you are trying to remove.
There is a healthier way to approach dating that wont throw your psyche for such a loop.
Think of dating as expanding your online grid.
You are simply meeting someone new.
Yes, maybe they will end up being The One.
There is a lot any given person has to offer.
Stop approaching the situation like there is one thing and one thing only that matters to you.
Remember, you are enough.
You dontneedthis date to be the beginning of forever.
