Move forward together in a meaningful way.
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Updated 7 years ago,December 6, 2017
Have you done something to hurt your guy?
Either way, is he really hurt?
Yoann Boyer
Do you want to say Im sorry: and keep your relationship?
All to no avail?
Hope is not lost.
There are 3 ways to apologize that will help you keep your relationship.
Before we begin it is essential that you understand WHAT you have to apologize for.
You did something that caused someone pain.
Yoann Boyer
And THAT is what you have to apologize for.
Causing that person pain.
Not for what you did to cause the pain.
They were supposed to go out with friends of his from out of town.
She had tried to get home but got caught up in a work crisis.
Should she need to apologize?
I mean, she was late because of work.
She had no control over that.
Of course she needs to apologize!
Do you see the difference?
The slight is that she caused him pain.
Whatever she did to cause that pain is irrelevant.
The pain is what you are apologizing for.
Now that you do, here are 3 ways to say Im sorry and preserve your relationship.
I am sorry that I hurt you.
This is the perfect first line of any apology.
You are acknowledging that you have caused someone pain.
Again, what you are apologizing for is that you hurt someone.
How you did so is irrelevant in this first part of the apology.
So accept it and apologize for the hurt you have caused.
How can I prevent it from happening again?
He would also know that she knew she was late and that she was sensitive to the situation.
It was up to her know when to use those tools and to do so.
What can I do to make it up to you?
This one is a fun one.
So my clients partner had acknowledged that she had hurt him and did not tried to justify her behavior.
Not a dominating sort of control but in control of how the outcome of the situation could play out.
His partner didnt have to guess, which is good because because people dont alwaysguess well.
He just wanted some time with his friends but he also wanted them to meet her.
This plan satisfied both of those needs.
How recognizing that you have hurt someone and making amends is the key to making it happen?
It just might change your life.
