There are no good women left.
Well, then, GTFO this site, then.
By
Updated 8 years ago,July 20, 2017
1.
Illustration by Daniella Urdinlaiz
There are no good women left.
Well, then, GTFO this site, then.
Mamapalooza
2.
Illustration by Daniella Urdinlaiz
Im a King looking for my Queen.
Run, from profiles that have this line or some version of this.
ChubbyBlackWoman
3.
Im a vegan and live a clean lifestyle.
Obviously he looooooves smelling his own farts.
buuggghhhh
4.
Im a male-feminist; chivalry isnt dead; etc.
I dont give a shit about any of that.
Sometimes Im just trying to get dicked down.
tddup
5.
Dont say hi or hey there.
I dont answer to that.
Okay, well then shall I just start halfway into a conversation without introducing myself?
Wtf do you want someone to say?!
Mrs_Hannah
5.
Not into weird stuff.
Probably most definitely is into weird stuff.
Zebra_peach
6.
Lets go on an adventure!
wasatchliz
7.
Ive been hurt pretty bad…
Ok calm down, edgesaurus; we all have.
zann3n-
8.
CleaningBird
9.
Im a true gentleman just looking for a real lady.
Self-proclaimed gentleman are usually damaged, doormats, or wish reality was like TV-1950s.
isocline
10.
My kid comes first.
You dont like that, tough.
So hostile…
Bethberryjuice
11.
Looking for someone who is real.
You sound like a whiny person who has some serious baggage.
LookingforPonchu
12.
Im probably more awesome than you.
A friend wanted to know why he was never getting girls.
This was on his page.
hanstandmonkey
13.
I have no issue with peoples personal preference but that is just rude.
If you are uninterested in overweight people just dont talk or engage with those people.
Littledipper63
14.
Were actually a couple and looking for a third.
hoodwinkhop
15.
I need someone who can hold a conversation.
Normally means they cant hold a conversation, and they want you to make up for it.
dazefinch
16.
Im not going to write everything here.
You should just message me to really get to know me.
THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF YOU.
You HAVE to give me a snippet!
I cant message all the hundreds of guys trying to figure out simple things!
You are setting yourself up for failure.
Theres just not enough time in the day.
firfetir
17.
My kids are my life…
Well, I would fucking hope so.
Its the exact same phrase on 90% of profiles.
NakedAlchemist
18.
If you cant handle my sarcasm, you wont last.
this translates into Im a major asshole who says mean things to my partner.
BlondeDuneRider
19.
Looking for a NORMAL girl.
MollyGibson84
20.
I like eating pussy and ass.
Dont put that on your dating profile.
It was pretty awkward seeing him every day after reading that.
And thats why I dont put my picture on OKCupid.
apprehensiveabtthis
21.
I like to have fun.
What a vapid phrase.
Beadrilll
22.
I am sexually adventurous and want to experience a younger woman.
As it turned out, that guy wanted to invite me on a three-way with his wife.
RambletitsMcGee
23.
Im not trying to get hurt anymore.
Seems like all the good guys get treated like shit.
My last girlfriend was cheating on me so Im a little insecure right now.
Uhhhhhhh, your baggage is way too heavy.
310Cypress
24.
I try not to take life too seriously.
Whether we like it or not, life is hard.
zoomlittlewing
25.
You miss 100% of the shots you dont take.
If a guy has that in his bio you know hes a fuckboy.
ashepille
27.
Im 61, since apparently thats important.
Just list your height or dont.
No need for some snarky condescending remark about why youre listing it.
DaniBoBani91
28.
Basically anything that makes him sound like hes the tits but hes not.
castielsprincess
29.
I want a strong woman whos going to keep me in line.
Oh sure, thatll never backfire.
beta_pup
