Live, laugh, love.
Translation: Worship at my feet or I’ll put your cat in the blender.
By
Updated 8 years ago,July 20, 2017
1.
Illustration by Daniella Urdinlaiz
Live, laugh, love.
Translation: Worship at my feet or Ill put your cat in the blender.
kartoffelgeist
2.
Illustration by Daniella Urdinlaiz
I bet you cant handle me!
I bet I dont want to bother.
Tampaburn
3.
Are there any good men left?
Tells me her personality drives off good men.
fromRonnie
4.
All my friends say Im crazy lol!
Translation: you and your friends are earth-shatteringly dull.
KlutchAtStraws
5.
Why would you be proud of that and what fucking moron would seek that in a partner?
Ballsop
6.
I love to laugh.
Ive never met anyone that doesnt like to laugh.
__JeRM
7. idk what to put for a bio.
Cant wait to have a riveting conversation with someone that cant make a single sentence about themselves.
bmothebest
8.
I like to do fun stuff.
I mean I think the definition of fun stuff is that you like doing it.
Race_kak
9.
I dont reply to one-word messages.
Proceeds to message me hey.
HoboWithACrossbow
10.
Willing to lie about how we met.
I feel like thats not conducive to a successful relationship.
Freadan
11.
My reaction: This is America….we did away with that monarchy bullshit 250 years ago.
exploring_guy
12.
In my experience this means one of two things;
They actually dont understand what sarcasm is.
They use it as an excuse to be a bitch to your face.
DominatorJ27
13.
Oh and Im not really 23, not sure why it says that.
Because you lied about your age on FB you idiot.
GivemetheDetails
14.
No shit, most people do.
Cheezy_Dave
15.
Dont judge my story by the chapter you walked in on.
Aint to woman special enough for me to change.
bolognahole
16.
Message me, I wont talk first.
All right, Miss Entitled.
technocolourtype0
17.
Lestes
18.
My kids are my life (or my everything).
Well, no shit, Sherlock.
I sure hope so.
I mean they are mini human beings after all.
nololoco
19.
I dont like drama or want to play games.
You thrive on drama and do nothing but play mind games.
mlg2433
20.
Im just looking for a sugar daddy.
Look, dear, even I have my standardsand being blatantly taken advantage of is beyond that line.
Morvick
21.
Im not your average girl.
You literally just became an average girl by saying that.
Maximus_Stache
22.
Must be 60 or taller.
Everyone has their own body preferences.
Shadowmael
23.
Nope…
grow_something
24.
Probably unemployed and a gold digger.
diegoeche
25.
Thats enough for me.
ParAdigm__
26.
My family is the most important thing to me.
Scodo
27.
Usually code for I cant afford my own pot so lets smoke yours.
Worthington_Rockwell
28.
You enjoy an experience that your brain is hard-wired to derive pleasure from?
LordGreystoke
29.
Im really nice but can be a bitch when I need to.
Translation: Im a bitch.
littlefluffhead
39.
Im not looking for something casual.
How the fuck do you expect this to start?
generic_brand_cola
