She said this to me.
4.College girlfriends Dad won 1 million dollars in the state lottery over winter break.
Thats really the only thing wrong, youre just regular.
ZACHARY STAINES
5.I had a girl stop talking to me because my texts were green since I didnt have an iPhone.
6.Because I ate my pizza with a knife and fork.
He dumped me because he was scared to tell his mum about us.
9.My college boyfriend was exposed to the swine flu (this was 2009).
Being immuno compromised, I requested that we not see each other in person for a few days.
And yes, I was overly cautious in retrospect.
10.We had been dating about a month and were carded at a bar.
She looked at my ID and saw I was almost two months younger than her.
She was mortified and said she doesnt date younger guys because of how immature they are.
We went out one more time and that was it.
11.Told her in passing that I had smoked pot in the past.
I still do, but I didnt get that far.
She immediately flipped out and told me 5 of her friends had DIED from weed in the past year.
This was a 36 year old human.
I was stunned into silence.
12.I told him I didnt likeStar Wars.
He was really into it.
He freaked out and I ended up walking home because he was starting to throw things.
And it hurt his feelings I had a higher degree than him.
So him being ridiculous made me dump him.
14.I love you so much and want to spend the rest of my life with you.
15.My exs cat was named Ben.
The girl I was datings cat was named Bundles.
One day, I called Bundles, Ben.
She asked me what I just called her cat.
I thought about it, and then remembered that was my exs cats name.
I laughed and told her and she was super unimpressed.
Broke up with me the next day.
16.Made a girl smile too much.
She had braces and it cut up the inside of her mouth.
And then she went back with her ex.
An ex-convict pusher who thinks that a shiner is an act of love.
18.We went to rival colleges and I had graduated from the bad one.
19.I bought my GF one of the World of Warcraft expansion packs for her birthday.
She started playing again like shereallygot into it and I hardly saw her.
Shed play all night and would come to bed as I was getting up.
To be clear, that made me want to dumpher.
20.God told me not to date you.
And guess what: this happened TWICE.
(With two different people.)
21.He dumped me because I cheated on him… 23.I wish I still had the text… Long story short.
She was mad I DIDNT grab her ass…
In public… On our first date.
24.She found out the truck I was driving was owned by my mom.
25.I was dating a guy whose parents didnt like me.
It was a long distance relationship, and so we mostly chatted online but also made occasional phone calls.
The conversation continued, we decided to break up.
Something like 10 years later, we were talking online when the subject of our breakup came up.
I would never give someone that kind of ultimatum, that would be ridiculous.
26.My boyfriend broke up with me because he was moving away to go to puppet school.
He dumped her because he didnt want to go to the school dance.
30.We have to break up.
I mean, we cant even get married… youre allergic to fish!
She chose the occasional tuna sandwich over me.
I laughed and still tell the story so I guess its a win!
