Because you put up a sign saying you needed people with exactly my experiences and credentials in this position.
If you don’t want me I will take down your sign because it’s wrong.
1.Because if you dont hire me, your replacement will.
Brooke Cagle
2.Because I need money and you need employees.
4.Because you put up a sign saying you needed people with exactly my experiences and credentials in this position.
If you dont want me I will take down your sign because its wrong.
5.Because I have the only antidote.
Did you enjoy your coffee?
6.Because Im a big fan of money.
I like it, I use it, I have a little.
I keep it in a jar on top of my refrigerator.
Id like to put more in that jar.
Thats where you come in.
7.Because you cant afford not to, given my penchant for arson.
8.Ive always been really passionate about not starving to death.
You give me money to do things.
Im happy to do things for money.
10.Maybe you shouldnt, I dont know the other people applying.
11.Because I would like to acquire currency.
12.I dont know, and you dont know.
Well figure that out together if you hire me.
13.Because you seem like smart people and youll make the right decision.
14.Because I am willing to exchange services for funds.
16.Youve already figured that out.
18.Because I know what you did last summer.
19.If you dont, Ill come into work and do the job anyway.
20.Yallre desperate as hell for warm bodies, right?
Check my temperature and see if Im warm.
21.Because you wont have the smallest dick in the company…
22.Because I am the chosen one.
23.If you dont, I will spoil Endgame for you.
25.I need beer money and this job is piss easy.
26.You didnt come here to make a choice, youve already made it.
You came here to attempt to understandwhyyouve made that choice.
Ill be starting tomorrow.
27.Because Im incredibly lazy and that makes me very good at creating efficiencies and automating things.
28.I know a guy who can get us donuts.
29.To fulfill the prophesy of the chosen pizza delivery man.
