My most recent therapist said, “Productivity does not equal worth or value.”
And then feeling badly that we don’t have the energy for those things.
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Updated 1 year ago,January 16, 2024
People onknow how important therapy is.
Gian Cescon
Here are some things they learned during their own sessions:
1.Bad things happen in our lives every day.
Most of them are unavoidable.
Not only this, resilience is inspiring.
2.My therapist and I were discussing how I felt about a pretty deep betrayal from my now ex-wife.
I was beating myself up for not seeing how bad she really was when there was plenty of evidence.
He said, Whats that say?
I couldnt read it; it was too close to my face.
Stepping back from it a bit, it could read it said, Youre too close to see it.
I stopped beating myself up over it and was able to let it go.
3.Anything worth doing is worth doing half-assed.
Inaction is a form of paralysis.
Dosomething, even if it isnt everything an adult human in perfect condition in ideal circumstances would do.
I dont do that.
4.Worrying about something that might happen just makes you miserable.
5.Im not required to forgive anyone, especially from abuse.
7.I had issues getting motivated for pretty much anything, even my hobbies.
Its a rather simple thought, but it completely changed me.
Basically gave me back control.
8.If you dont heal from what hurt you, youll bleed on people that didnt cut you.
9.You arent obligated to have a relationship with anyone.
Helped me realize that I could walk away from toxic relationships, romantic or otherwise.
10.My most recent therapist said, Productivity does not equal worth or value.
And then feeling badly that we dont have the energy for those things.
Ive been reminding myself of her words every time I feel like Ishouldbe doing this or that.
She says that relaxation is its own productivity.
11.Your bad feelings are hard enough dont punish yourself on top of that for feeling bad.
Helped with self-harm and depression spirals.
12.I dont owe the world anything, but the world doesnt owe me anything either.
13.Its not your job to manage other peoples emotions.
Its not your job to anticipate their every need before they vocalize it.
14.Would you say the things you say to yourself in your head to your best friend?
I would never say that to my best friend…
So why was I saying it to myself?
15.While my marriage was imploding, I was so hung up on figuring out why.
My therapist simply stated, You dont need to figure it out.
It was like a 10,000 lb.
bolder was lifted from my shoulders.
16.A healthy relationship has boundaries that are respected.
If he does, then hes not a good partner.
17.You cant forget, and you wont forget.
We cant get rid of every emotion that hurts, like jealousy, anger, sadness.
Whats important here is getting the skills to understand these things, feel them, and find happiness after.
18.If you have to eat a shit sandwich, you pick the toppings that come on it.
19.Maybe it’s possible for you to treat yourself like a person and not like a project.
It changed my life.
Humans make mistakes, including methat doesnt mean theres issues to fix; it means Im a person.
20.You dont want your life to be exciting.
You want it to be boring.
Excitement sounds like fun, but your mental health pays for it.
So do exciting things.
But live a boring life, so you dont careen from disaster to disaster.
21.Any emotion that you have, whether positive or negative, is just an extension of yourself.
For me, it was my anger.
So she told me to think of my anger as my literal hand.
I control my hand.
I have the autonomy to make my hand stop doing what I want it to do.
My hand does not control me.
I shouldnt let fear stop me from doing things that would be beneficial or enjoyable.
23.Being called selfish is a form of control.
24.Take one day off a week.
Wake up with nothing on the agenda.
25.Its okay to cry and dont hold shit in.
That if something good happened, it was an accident and would be reversed soon enough.
He gave me the knowledge that sometimes, shitty things just happen.
29.You have to learn to forgive yourself.
30.You have always been you; you were just never allowed to be yourself and were suppressed.
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