Forget their birthday after promising to make it the best birthday ever!
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Updated 8 years ago,May 16, 2017
1.Date their best friend.
2.Only hang out with them in groups.
Trinity Kubassek
3.Tell them that you have plans.
Send them Snapchats of you watching Netflix all weekend.
4.Draw a photo of a couple.
Trinity Kubassek
Light it on fire in front of them.
6.Forget their birthday after promising to make it the best birthday ever!
7.Create NECCO Sweethearts with phrases like Dont Call Me or Were Platonic or Die Alone.
8.Convince them to join a softball league with you.
Dont pick them for your team.
9.Turn on read receipts.
10.Turn on read receipts.
Then reply Sorry, didnt see this!
11.Invite your nerd neighbor Jameson with the drooling problem to every hangout.
12.Explain that youre focusing on your career right now and arent interested in dating.
Show them your half-finished Rube Goldberg machine if they dont believe you.
13.Show them your half-finished Rube Goldberg machine even if they do believe you.
14.Like articles on Facebook titled How to Tell Someone That You Dont Like Them or How to Friend Zone.
16.Respond to every text with the GIF of Steve Harvey looking confused.
17.Microwave your cell phone.
Announce that your phone broke and you lost all of your contacts.
Dont ask for their number.
20.Volunteer for a one-way trip to Mars.
Share the press release on their wall.
21.Learn their favorite foods.
Develop allergies to said foods.
22.Contract a life-threatening disease.
Tell them you dont have time to date your days are numbered.
23.Ask them who they hate the most.
Surgically transform yourself into that person.
24.Every time they lean in, cough violently.
25.Floss in their presence.
26.Ask them about their bowel movements.
27.Describe your bowel movements in detail.
28.Compare bowel movement stories.
Sign the divorce papers in Sharpie with the composed look of someone who doesnt care, because you dont.
