Im single and your crush isnt.
By
Updated 1 year ago,January 16, 2024
Add these lines fromAsk Redditto your bio ASAP.
1.Im capable of giving orgasms.
Youll be the good looking one.
4.My parents are dead so well never have argue about where we will spend the holidays.
5.I make good cereal.
6.Youll definitely outlive me and can get that sweet life insurance money.
7.I am like a cat.
8.Im okay with long unprovoked silence.
But the good kind.
10.I can make some badass pasta.
11.I wont make you go bowling.
12.Im single and your crush isnt.
13.Ill amaze you with hundreds of useless fun facts.
14.Ill sit on you for prolonged periods of time.
(Bonus: my butt is very soft and not boney, I exfoliate it everyday.)
15.My dog thinks Im the best and he would love to play with someone new.
16.Im too ugly to cheat on you, its literally impossible for me to get a date.
17.I have a kind heart once you get over the asshole bit.
18.I prefer being the big spoon… do I need to say anything else?
20.You wouldnt have to worry about me cheating.
Even if I wanted to, it would be nearly impossible for me because my game is so weak.
21.I will send you memes at random times.
22.Once you break up with me, whoever you date next will look really good in comparison.
23.I can be a good virgin sacrifice.
24.Im super hydrated, so every time I pee its clear.
25.I have beaten every single Pokemon game.
27.Im tall therefore the top shelves and top of cupboards are my domain.
28.I shower and smell good.
29.I have like two dollars left on my Walmart gift card.
I could get you a drink or something.
30.I always have snacks.
32.Im good at the sexy time.
33.I wont kill you.
