If you relate to these stories, Im so sorry you have had to deal with this.
I wasnt allowed to say no
My first boyfriend was 22 years old!
I was probably 13-14 something.
Daniella Urdinlaz
He used to ignore me for days and not reply to me.
And very often made me send him nudes and I really really hated it.
Now Im 21 and when I look back and think about it.
I just feel so much shame and burden.
And just asked myself why and wonder didnt he see that I was a freaking child.
And I get filled with sadness.
I do remember asking her if she had had sex with him and what it was like.
She said it didnt do anything for her but I do it because he likes it.
She moved after a couple years of being with him so it fizzled out.
I dont know the guys name to look up whether he ever got caught.
chickenwing-coffee
My mom was worried about ruining his reputation
Its almost always the one your family loves.
Back then I felt a little grossed out, but honestly I was mostly jealous.
He was handsome-ish and gave her the attention she craved.
It only dawned on me years later just how fucked up all of this actually was.
He was a straight up pedophile.
And we all thought he was so cool.
taskum
He made me feel special
I was 15 with a 21 year old.
He hung around youth group and made all us younger girls feel special with his attention.
He wasnt interested until he found out my mom worked nights and I was home alone.
I would date them, and she would get chores done around the house that she needed.
Painted kitchen, fixed cabinets, roof work, stuff like that.
operachick209
I dont know how it affects me
I was 11 and he was 23.
We didnt date (he had a girlfriend) but he would sext me and send me nudes.
Eventually I realized it was strange and blocked him.
Didnt tell anyone about it.
I sometimes wonder if its impacted me more than I would care to admit.
goldenphoenix16
We were children
SUPER common.
Something very similar happened to myself and a friend of mine when we were around 11-14.
I was in my ugly duckling phase so was drawn into it by the attention.
Lethal_bizzle94
He was my guidance counselor.
I didnt realize how creepy he was until he proposed.
The whole thing was fucked.
Especially in the 90s when chatrooms became available thanks to the internet.
VampireYuki69
A cop
I was 14 and dated a 25 year old cop.
He never asked my age and I never told.
He said freshmen year of college getting to ya huh?
I said, college?
Im in high school.
Dead silence, then he asked how old I was and I said 14.
He said I cant see you again and hey dont tell anyone.
I said yeah of course.
I got why he was scared and I never saw him again and never told.
He used to tell me how complicated and mature I was (lol so cliche).
Im now 24 and seeing or interacting with anyone who is 15 makes me sick.
I felt so old then but its insane now how obvious to me that people that age are children.
He was 24 and was nice to me.
My family eventually found out about us talking and it was a huge deal.
shinyatits
It was self-destructive
I spent ages 12-15 having cyber sex with older men on AOL.
I was a good writer and this way of exploring sexuality really appealed to me.
I always lied about my age and the chats were extremely explicit and always with men from 20-40.
I sought out older men at a very young age because I felt like I was a grown-up.
This behavior became a very long cycle of self destructive behavior.
I dont know anything about any abuse in my childhood but I cant help but wonder.
He always complimented me, bought me stuff, and drove me places when I needed a ride.
Looking back now I cant believe I didnt realize how fucked up that was.
In my naivete, I thought this was just how grownup relationships were.
So I stayed, until I finally got fed up at 18 years old!
I thought I was cooler than the other girls in my grade because my boyfriend was a man.
I didnt really realize it was bad until some years later when he married a girl form my class.
I didnt tell anyone because I was scared that people would think that it was my fault.
My Dad was dying of terminal cancer and I needed someone to lean on.
He is no longer allowed to teach, but never was prosecuted.
So Ive been trying to deal with it by myself.
He hit me and sent me death threats and I never reported him.
John-Mulaneys-Wife
I almost married him
I called off my wedding 3 months before it happened.
I was a victim about to marry her abuser.
The engagement ring, which I did eventually find out was fake (he has money.
I was a 14 year old that looked like a 12 year old.)
I loved him because I thought he was saving me from my horrid situation with my family.
Hed take me away from it, even if it was just for a little while.
I was so messed up.
I ended up pregnant, having a violent end to my pregnancy that resulted in my daughters stillbirth.
Despite this all, I loved him.
But he started picking at my appearance.
I was gaining too much weight even though I was at a healthy weight for my age/height.
I had gotten hips and breasts… so we talked about dieting.
I drank water when Id get hungry.
Everything had to be low fat/no fat, low calorie/no calorie, and sugar free.
I went from healthy to underweight.
What made me realize that I wanted out was a box of chicken wings.
I ended up moving back in with my mother after she was able to escape her ex.
We lived near an indoor flea market/farmers market that had the most amazing food vendors.
I love food, and this diet was killing me.
I was fucking miserable.
I also realized that he wanting me to be so unhealthy wasnt right.
I was tired all the time, cold all the time, hungry all the time.
I decided, while happily munching on that box of wings, I was done.
I called him, told him that I was done.
He never got any deposits back.
I was also always dismissive about the age difference, citing that I was mature for my age.
I now realize it didnt matter.
I was a child.
when his gf found out she told the entire guild that I was a home wrecker.
he blocked me and ruined my reputation on that server.
Even offered to buy any plane tickets for me if I just said the word whenever I was ready.
He would always talk about the life we could have if I did run away and such.
I immediately told my mom I wanted to go and we got my spot reserved.
We also discussed sex and I agreed to lose my virginity to him when we met.
I was worried about getting caught offsite so I figured we could just hang out somewhere away from everyone.
All they had to do was open their tent and they would be facing us and see everything.
After maybe 6 months of dating, the owners of the restaurant found out and fired him.
They didnt fire him for that, but found another excuse to get rid of him pretty quickly.
After that, he couldnt find another job and I felt responsible.
He still wasnt working and was pretty unhappy overall.
He became very depressed and even suicidal.
travelcbn
8
Well we didnt really date.
I was 8, in Mexico with family.
Not the fancy resort Mexico.
The run down, cobble stone street, horses are the main transportation, key in of town.
I was looking for my sister who had gone to a corner store with a cousin.
There were multiple so I was screwed.
I went to the farthest one and would just loop back, no biggie.
I was walking on the street, and a car pulls up from behind me.
He stops and rolls down his window and asks me to come to the car.
I do and he asks where the nearest school is.
I tell him its down this street were on and then a right about 5 blocks down.
He said thank you.
I said of course and went to walk away but he said wait and opened his door.
He told me to come around, because he essentially had me pinned to a small chain link fence.
He asked if I had ever seen one.
I shook my head, not knowing what to say.
He told me to hold it like he did.
I was too scared to say no so I did.
He then showed me how to move my hand and let me do it.
He eventually released and he cleaned my hand off.
He said I should get in, hed give me a ride to the store.
A guy on a bicycle came and started yelling at the guy in the truck.
He said he was sorry and didnt know what else to do.
He saw it happen from up the street and rode his bike as fast he could.
Eventually I gathered my composure, gave him some money for a beer, and ran home.
I think about it now.
I couldve been taken and never heard from or seen again.
I thank that guy every day.
I have never told anyone this but wanted it off my chest.
She had 3 kids with him.
He took advantage of her and fucked her self esteem so much that she always takes him back.
Her 3 kids now all have kids too.
She is raising most of her grandkids.
I feel sorry for all of them.
Some parts of Georgia are like a 3rd world country.
artist9120
I didnt realize he was a predator for years
I was 14, he was 21.
He knew me long before we dated though.
I thought it was a joke.
At least until I became really sad, and I sought out some comfort from him.
He took advantage of that and it escalated really quickly.
TwelfthHouseAries
They made me feel needed
I did this a lot as a child/teenager.
Though all but one relationship stayed online, they were all still very sexual in nature.
I got hardcore grounded and told not to talk to him, he got off with no punishment whatsoever.
So I kept sneaking back to him.
He made me feel important and special and mature.
And then there were the guys I dated.
A lot of guys in their 20s when I was 15 or younger.
I was just a source of nudes and sexting for them.
But it still made me feel needed.
Then I started dating a 40 year old man when I was 16.
Thats the one who broke the online barrier.
He took my virginity.
He ended up killing himself when he was caught molesting a 10 year old.
I still couldnt bring myself to understand he was a predator; I had been hella groomed.
It took a lot of therapy and medication to realize these people were the ones at fault.
I was a kid.
AnnTheGoldfish
Clearly a pedo
I was 15 and he was 28.
I would skip school to go to his flat and watch him smoke weed and have sex.
I had to pretend I hadnt been sleeping with him so she didnt beat the crap out of me.
I left and never came back.
I was completely delusional about the entire thing.
Now Im 28 and I couldnt possibly imagine being attracted to a 15 year old.
He was clearly a paedophile and I was gullible enough to be groomed.
I dont know why I even liked him, but for some reason I was drawn to him.
He was charming, good looking, always willing to help people, talented, smart.
To a naive 18 year old, he was just a sweet guy with good intentions.
Fast forward a few months and I realised how wrong I was.
Tom and I had begun to secretly date behind my parents back because I knew they wouldnt approve.
Well lo and behold, I ended up moving into Toms place because I had nowhere else to go.
It was never physical abuse, was always verbal and emotional.
Honestly, I think I wouldve preferred physical abuse.
It would have hurt less.
He would tell me I was useless, lazy, and stupid.
I had no friends, no family I could fall back on.
He had completely beaten me into the ground to the point where I believed everything he said.
Eventually I gathered the courage to leave, but it took a lot and took WAY too long.
Im 25 now and engaged to a wonderful man who treats me the way I know I deserve.
To any young girls reading this, hey remember that you are worth so much more than you think.
Dont date any guy who gives you the time of day, ESPECIALLY if hes significantly older than you.
Chances are, hes an abuser who is looking for an easy victim.
Stay strong and stay smart, dont be like me.
Ive been trapped in an abusive marriage ever since, and Im 39 now.
hey, young women who date older dudes listen to peoples concerns.
They care about you.
Theyre trying to help.
And if you need an ear, my inbox and life experience are open to you.
I will take a stab at help.
(My country has finished quarantine.)
He told me that he didnt want to be around anybody who put up any barriers..
He didnt want me to feel comfortable setting boundaries.
We were friends for 2 years and he pursued me relentlessly.
I never fancied him but we did become really close and I cared a lot about him.
He made a move when I was 19 and I didnt say no.
We were together for 2.5 years.
But when youre 17 your opinion of time is so different to 20 years later.
I was 13 years old and he was 21 at the time.
He wouldnt talk to me.
The guy was mentally unstable.
whatfieryhellisthis0
I trusted him
I was a lonely, bullied 12 year old who wanted attention.
