You know the old saying absence makes the heart grow fonder?
The importance of time apart.
When they are falling in love, couples want to spend every available minute together.
Alex Blăjan
It is important, however, that you spend time apart from the one you love.
Think about how you feel when you go on a diet.
Its the same thing in a relationship.
And then the heart grows fonder.
Unfortunately, this is one of those boundaries that are easy to violate, oftentimes unintentionally.
And being sick of spending time with your partner can be a real relationship killer.
So, spend some time apart.
Keep that spark alive.
Dont let one person be in charge.
In many marriages, at some point one person becomes the one calling the shots.
And while this seems to work on one level, ultimately the relationship will become uneven.
And when things are uneven, a marriage changes.
At the beginning of many marriages, the decisions are largely shared.
What to do, where to eat, where to travelthese are all decisions made by a couple together.
Decisions need to be made quickly, on the fly sometimes or more deliberately at other times.
And more often than not, the primary caregiver is the person present to make those decisions.
And this, while efficient, will ultimately create a power imbalance that can kill any strong marriage.
So, make an effort to keep the decision making even in the marriage.
Work together to make as many decisions about the kids and your family together.
Not letting either one of you be in charge is important.
One of the biggest romance killers in marriage is lack of respect and contempt.
Working hard to maintain respect for your partner is essential.
The saying familiarity breeds contempt is an accurate one, and something that happens in many committed relationships.
As time goes on, personalities can clash and unsettled issues can simmer.
As a result, partners can lose respect for each other.
How can you be in a happy marriage when you dont respect your partner?
Unfortunately, it is easy to fall into the trap of losing respect for each other.
By not attacking each other personally and criticizing each others behaviors and actions.
Furthermore, its important to not criticize your partner out in the world.
This didnt do our relationship any good because we werent communicating and giving our relationship a chance to improve.
And when we were together, I treated my husband with contempt because I no longer respected him.
I am no longer married.
So, ensure you treat each other with respect, both inside and outside the relationship.
Be your own person always.
One of the most important common boundaries in marriage is always staying true to yourself, no matter what.
So many people become less of themselves when they get married.
They take on their partners friendships, their hobbies, and their ways of doing things.
It is VERY important that everyone stays themselves when in a relationship.
It is also important that you continue to respect yourself, and you will respect yourself by being yourself.
Unfortunately, staying ourselves in a relationship can be difficult.
Marriage is hard and long and its hard not to evolve in such a way that mirrors our partner.
Or one person may give up a career because their partner is threatened by their success.
When these things happen, marriages are tested and often fail.
So, be yourself in your relationship.
A healthy relationship requires it.
One of the most important and common boundaries in marriage is the importance of being forgiving.
Everyone is human and everyone makes mistakes.
Over the course of a marriage, there can be many, many mistakes.
And if those mistakes are left to fester, a marriage can be destroyed.
It is important that people learn how to forgive in relationships.
To not let the transgression fester by not dealing with it.
The person betrayed doesnt adequately expresse their dismay or the betrayer doesnt sufficiently take responsibility for their actions.
This can often lead to divorce.
So, if your partner has betrayed you, work hard to forgive them.
And I know that you dont want that!
