If love is a universal feeling, so is heartbreak.
Because falling in love means running the risk of having your heart broken.
When a relationship ends, you feel like youre losing one of the most important parts of your life.
Drew Coffman
But there is a silver lining: You have an opportunity for a learning experience.
Like the old saying, Fool me once, shame on you.
But what happens when youve been fooled four times?
You start to feel like the ultimate fool.
I beat myself up for giving my heart away to people that caused me so much pain.
I wondered if I was better off to keep my love to myself.
Going through breakups and heartbreaks hurt so much, I didnt think I could endure them again.
But a couple of years ago, I took a year off dating after my last particularly nasty breakup.
What I realized was shocking.
Even though ending a relationship hurts, a breakup is a lesson we cant learn until we experience it.
But post-breakup, my mind was too clouded to see what I could learn.
A nasty breakup takes a toll on you and sometimes leaves scars that will always be there.
But it also provides lessons to be learned about yourself and your idea of love.
With every failed relationship comes experience we all need.
After you go through a tough breakup, youre able to reflect on your actions.
Maybe youre thinking, Why did I put up with that kind of behavior?
If so, then this time is a perfect opportunity to answer that exact question.
Reflect on your relationship and think about the ways your partner treated you that you didnt like.
Remember all the moments you felt disrespected, hurt, or uncomfortable.
Figure out what your reason is.
Figuring this out now will save you from future heartbreak.
You learn that unhealthy love exists
Love is messy, and we dont exactly know how it works.
Looking back, we brought out the worst in each other.
When I think about that relationship years later and whether I actually loved him, the answer is yes.
But our love is the kind Im grateful didnt last forever.
Someone can love you but not want to treat you the right way.
You may think, Well, then its not love!
but thats not true.
Individuals form their idea of how love works through their parents and past experiences.
Some people grow up in unhealthy situations and that shapes how they express love today.
Its not excusing their behavior, though.
Everyone is responsible for their own healing.
Remember these, because theyre something you could only learn through experience.
But it took dating guys like that to realize that those characteristics werent as important to me as others.
Emotional intelligence, understanding, and a kind heart meant a lot more to me.
Each person you date helps you realize what you do and dont want in a partner.
Thats an invaluable life experience.
You learn you cant change someone
No matter how much you love someone, you cant change them.
Any significant change a person makes has to come from within.
But if there were parts of the relationship that made you unhappy, its probably better you broke up.
You learn it’s possible for you to survive anything
Going through a breakup hurtsa lot.
Theres no getting around that.
Breakups bring up feelings of rejection and alter your sense of normalcy.
They even createphysical pain, according to come researchers.
But experience a breakup and all the pain that comes with it makes you stronger.
You learn how to cope with this kind of hurt and prepare yourself for if it happens again.
After a breakup, I hope you dont think you wasted years of your life.
No relationship is ever wasted time.
