We all go into our first dates hoping for the best.
Hoping that this will be The One who will end our lonely days forever.
Because we often dont want to know the answers.
Davids Kokainis
And we dont want that.
you oughta ask that question and get a straight answer?
The answer is a resounding YES!
You would be amazed at how many married people out there want to date other people.
Some of them are in open marriages and some of them just want to fool around.
Either way, you want to know the answer.
And that is the goal right?
How long have they been single?
Once you know they are single, its important to know how long they have been single.
Divorce wreaks havoc that regular breakups do not, and the recovery period is longer.
A newly divorced person just wont be ready for you, in spite of what they might think.
If your potential partner has just gone through a non-marriage breakup, that could also be a red flag.
You do NOT want to be the rebound person.
Nobody wants to date someone who is still holding a torch for someone else, do they?
One of the first questions we ask when we meet anyone is What do you do?
Its what Americans do.
A more important question is Are you currently working?
The reasons you want to know the answer to this question?
Because you want to know if they are financially and emotionally secure.
Financial security is obvious.
No one wants to get involved with someone who cant carry his or her weight financially.
The emotional security is a tougher one.
People who are unemployed are often in a delicate position emotionally.
They could be actively seeking work and unable to find any.
They could be thinking that the work out there is below them and refuse to compromise.
They could have had issues at an old job that continue on into new jobs.
All of these situations could lead to insecurity and low self-esteem.
Insecurity and low self-esteem are not things that lend themselves well to a healthy relationship.
And DONT think that you’re able to fix them, because you cant.
So, ask not only What do you do but Where do you do it?
Do they get along with their family?
Knowing how someone gets along with his or her family is important?
Because the basic human connection that we make as children influences who we are as grown ups.
And someone who has a rough relationship with his family could be tough to truly connect with.
So, ask the question and listen carefully to the answer.
Do they have kids?
This one is SO important because kids change everything.
They will be made the priority above you every single time.
And maybe thats okay with you.
Maybe you have kids too and understand the priorities.
Or maybe you are willing to make their kids your priority as well.
But maybe its not.
Maybe you want to always be first, or maybe you just arent ready to have kids.
So, ask the question.
Because kids will always come first, no matter what you might tell yourself going in.
Red flags should be noted and acted on.
Make an effort to find out the important things to know about someone before you kick off dating them.
Get your answers early so you’re able to decide to fish or cut bait right away.
Because there are other fish in the sea.
Fish who might be better for you.
