But what about respect?
Have you stopped to consider how important respect from your partner is to you?
I got into a relationship in college that quickly turned emotionally abusive.
Artyom PJ
A common theme amongst my exs actionscriticizing me, name-calling, dismissing my feelingswas a lack of respect.
Researchers Jennifer R. Frei and Phillip R. Shaver at UC Davissurveyedcollege students on the topic of respect.
They found that people who felt more respect from their partner also felt more satisfied in the relationship.
Lack of respect in a relationship is more likely to erode at a relationship.
But a lot of actions of disrespect are so small they can easily go undetected.
Name-calling does no good for a relationship.
All it achieves is making your partner feel distanced from you.
Criticizing them.This includes when youre in front of your partner and also what you say about them to others.
Theyre simple gestures but ones that create a barrier for healthy communication.
The bright side of all of this is, there are easy ways to show your partner respect.
Aside from cutting out the above, try changing your behavior in these ways:
1.
He had no respect for the fact I wasnt just like him.
No two people share the exact same views and opinions, and thats not a bad thing.
Let your partner be who they are.
Practice trusting
Respecting someone includes trusting them until they give you a reason not to.
But this is hard for people, especially when their trust has been broken in the past.
This aspect of my current relationship is one I struggle with.
And I know Im not the only one.
Relationship expert John Gottmancitestrust issues as being the most prevalent amongst couples.
If youre like me and trust doesnt come easily, you have to build it up.
Communicate with your partner your experience with trust.
Take note of moments when your partner was there for you.
Consider the beliefs you hold around romantic love and whether theyre logically based on your current relationship or not.
Creating trust with your partner is a process you could only do for someone you respect.
Listen to what they say
Actively listening to your partner is more than just the everyday listening people do.
It involves actually hearing and understanding what the other person is saying.
I am here for you.
You might overstep their words or completely miss their point.
But actively listening strengthens relationships.
Researchers in Switzerlandfoundthat couples who felt heard by their partners also felt happier about their relationship.
So next time your partner wants to talk about something serious, sit down with them.
Put away your phone.
Make eye contact as they speak to you.
Focus on exactly what theyre saying and ask questions if you dont understand.
Respect your partner by giving them your undistracted time and attention.
Dont play games
Theres a lot of reasons people play games.
I used to because I felt insecure.
Whatever the reason, playing games is ultimately disrespectful and deeply hurtful to a relationship.
; theyre all going to cause you and your partner pain.
Instead, practice healthy communication.
It not only shows respect to your partner, but youll be happier in the long run, too.
Validate your partners feelings
Dont dismiss your partners feelings as irrational or dramatic.
What someone feels is what they feel, no matter if you agree.
The fact is, when your partner is upset, theyre upset.
And you telling them not to be isnt going to help.
Thats because when a person validates your feelings rather than dismissing them, theyre entering your world.
They stay with you in the moment and take a stab at see things from your perspective.
Respect how your partner feels by validating their feelings.
Statements like, I can see youre upset or I understand why youre mad go a long way.
Respect is an easy thing to give that means a lot to someone, your partner included.
If you think your relationship lacks respect, start with changing your actions.
Your partner is most likely a top priority, so show them the above and beyond respect they deserve.
