While yes, its tough, its not impossible.
Thats the real problem no one really addresses.
We do it to ourselves.
Thought Catalog Agency
And I fully relate to all of it because I used to be the same way!
First, lets go over a few quick signs that you have relationship anxiety.
You dont trust your partners feelings.You constantly question if he likes you or if hes losing interest.
And you are constantly on guard for that dreaded moment to come.
You dont need me to tell you that stress is bad for you.
Weve all heard the toll it takes on our physical appearance and emotional well-being.
But that doesnt stop most of us from doing it anyway.
Stress puts us into a primitive state.
It activates our fears, and we cant see beyond them.
Its like a piece of paper with a black dot on it.
When were stressed, that little dot takes over the entire page, and its all we see.
Being stress-free doesnt mean youre walking around like some hippy-dippy zen robot.
This is where the majority of people go wrong in relationships.
They are on the defensive waiting for something to go wrong, and they cant relax and just be.
When you stress over your relationship, you arent able to be in the relationship.
And the guy will feel it.
Hell pick up on this negative energy and he will just feel turned off.
Recognize stressing solves nothing.
Heres the trap we fall into with stressing over things.
It feels like youre doing something productive.
Its like running on the treadmill expecting to get to a new destination.
Youre expending tons of energy… but youre still in the exact same spot.
You feel like if you spin your wheels hard enough youll land on some sort of a solution.
But instead, you poison your mood and your vibe, and yourself-esteem.
Stressing multiples your problems, it doesnt solve them.
And it usually causes the very thing youre worried about to come to fruition.
Set a panic deadline.
A lot of us prematurely panic.
This happened to me very early in my relationship with my husband.
Here we go again with this exact same dreaded pattern…
But then I decided I wouldnt do this to myself.
Instead, I set a panic deadline.
If I dont hear from him by Friday, then I can be upset.
I wasnt saying I couldnt be upset…
I was just putting the upset feelings on hold and planned to revisit them at a later date.
Anytime something like this would come up in our relationship, I would set a date to panic.
And without fail, the problem would resolve before we reached the deadline.
If it doesnt work out, youll be OK. For some reason, this basic revelation feels groundbreaking when spoken out loud.
Its hard to realize something so obvious when youre in the thick of it because it doesnt feel OK.
It feels like you will combust if he leaves.
You just cant handle that being a reality.
Dating is a discovery process, thats all.
Its not a means to find happiness or self-esteem or to heal your old wounds.
Being in a relationship isnt a goal to achieve.
It is something that naturally happens when youre dating someone and you both realize it just fits.
It feels easy and effortless and being together is just much better than not being together.
You cant force someone to feel what you feel.
If its not a match… its not a match and thats fine!
You will find someone better suited for you.
Have a little more faith in yourself!
Theres an underlying feeling of I need this relationship to work!
The point Im making is dont mentally or physically cut yourself off from other options.
Youll leave much less room for stressing if you have other things to keep you occupied.
Realizeyou have control over your mind.
This is a common mistake.
We think we have no control.
Why do we allow this?!
You have control over which thoughts seep in.
If you dont like what youre hearing, send those thoughts away and replace them with something different.
Your mind heavily influences the way you see the world and interact with it.
If it brings up feelings of fear/anxiety/insecurity/dread then no, it doesnt serve you well!
So shift that thought to a more productive place!
