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Updated 2 years ago,August 22, 2023
1.
Once their victims are sufficiently invested again, their abusers revert back to their true cruelty and contempt.
So if an abuser seems to be on his or her best behavior beware.
Jeff Isy
Its likely he or she is merely biding their time before abusing once more.
Their toxic behavior has beenhardwiredsince they were children.
Dont fall for these cheap magic tricks.
Remember they idealized you too, and they are masters of impression management.
They will devalue their new victims, just like they devalued you.
Be grateful you woke up and are privileged to pursue a life of freedom, peace and joy instead.
They feel they have a right to punish, control and demean you they feel theyownyou.
Their cruel behavior isnt uncontrollable, either.
it’s possible for you to show them any compassion you have for them from a distance.
I know none of us want to seem like were judging others.
Sometimes people really do meet the criteria for malicious and character disordered.There is a difference between judgment and discernment.
It cant be prematurely forgiven or let go of until its fully processed and healed.
Dont get me wrong: there are many healing benefits to forgiving when one is ready.
There is another reason why prematurely forgiving someone before youre ready can be dangerous.
Anger can be used to initially stop us from going back to an abuser.
It can be used to fuel our motivation to keep going, even when we feel like giving up.
Honor your anger without acting on it in maladaptive ways.
Use it to compel you to set firmerboundariesin your relationships.
Dont rush thegrieving process, either.
You will have mixed emotions and that is normal.
There will be days where your emotions are overwhelming.
Do not resist the emotional apocalypse by desensitizing yourself to the pain.
Youre being cleansed and reborn.
Remember that healing is not linear it is cyclical.
Its okay to not be okay.
Its okay to be gentle with yourself.
