“Your new life is going to cost you your old one.”
Then I readThe Mountain Is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage Into Self-Mastery, a book by best-selling author Brianna Wiest.
Wiest also details how to stop self-sabotage in its tracks and ultimately workwithourselves, notagainstourselves.
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The Mountain Is Youhas changed my life for the better.
Self-sabotage is a means of getting an unmet need fulfilled (albeit in a maladaptive way).
Your new life is going to cost you your old one.
This could mean losing relationships and friends.
This may mean you could become less liked and understood.
It may mean floundering for a while until you find your north star.
It doesnt matter, insists Wiest.
The people who are meant for you are going to meet you on the other side.
Youre going to build a new comfort zone around the things that actually move you forward.
Instead of being liked, youre going to be loved.
Instead of being understood, youre going to be seen.
Comfort is the driving force of human behavior.
Human beings seek what they know best because it is what is the most comfortable and thereforesafe.
As Wiest writes, Human beings are guided by comfort.
They stay close to what feels familiar and reject what doesnt, even if its objectively better for them.
This is one of the big reasons we engage in self-sabotaging behaviors.
The self-sabotaging behaviors we engage in are symptoms.
you oughta get to the root of the behavior to dismantle the pattern and ultimately stop the self-sabotaging altogether.
You cannot get rid of the coping mechanisms and think youve solved the problem, explains Wiest.
You must find healthier means of meeting your needs.
You must know what your needs are in the first place.
The only person who can save you from your own madness is yourself.
Or, alternatively, I can step out of my own way.
I can decide that I want better for myself because I deserve better, especiallyfrommyself.
I choose the latter.
