Its a scary thing, letting go of someone.
You have invested so much time and energy into the relationship and letting go feels like quitting.
Eight years ago, I got divorced.
Prince Akachi
I was 46 years old and I had been married for 18 years.
I was so scared of my unknown future and wondered if I could find happiness.
Here is my story.
No more thousand little cuts.
Every day of my marriage involved some kind of misery.
Once I was living alone, that stopped happening.
When I crawled into bed, I wasnt angry and bitter but content with how my day had gone.
And I would get a good nights sleep because no one was next to me snoring.
No more being a pretzel.
These contortions made me feel inauthentic and damaged my self-esteem.
Have you ever found yourself putting up with behavior that is not okay just to keep the peace?
Do you bend over backwards to do things that will make him happy?
Have you given up friends in an attempt to stash your relationship?
Twisting ourselves into a pretzel for someone else is not a healthy thing.
Living your own authentic life.
When I was married, I was a wife and a mother.
My every day was filled with mundane tasks like keeping the house clean and making dinner.
I defined myself as such and it kept me from living my own life.
After my divorce, all of that changed.
I finally had the freedom to do everything that I had always wanted to do.
I volunteered at the National Alliance of Mental Illness, helping people living with mental illness.
I worked at a food bank and volunteered at a hospital.
Every day I woke up and my day was what I wanted it be.
And as a result, I started feeling really good about myself.
No longer was I the subject of daily pain or struggling with not being myself.
How good would it feel to have your life be what you want it to be every day?
I climbed Mt Katahdin in Maine and hiked for 15 days in Peru.
I started dating and met a bunch of great guys, many of whom I am still friends with.
I was 46 years old and I was authentically living my life again.
I felt truly alive and was getting to know myself in a way that I never had before.
I spent six years dating after my divorce.
I enjoyed almost every date (but did walk out on one) and had many amazing boyfriends.
One took me hiking in Moab.
I road-tripped with one to Telluride and with another to help hurricane victims in Louisiana.
I have this little game I play when standing in line at the grocery store.
I am living proof.
