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Updated 8 years ago,June 2, 2017
Insecurities.
We all have them.
Weve all experienced them in a partner.
Ciara-Angela Engelhardt
We all know theyre not much fun.
When it comes to insecurities severity matters.
No one is perfect, and loving someone means taking the good with the bad.
Moderate levels of insecurity in a man can be managed for a happy, healthy relationship.
Insecurity is a beast that can take many forms.
The early warning signs are subtle.
Ciara-Angela Engelhardt
On your first couple of dates, you notice hes quite judgmental of others.
He gets overly curious about intimate details of your life that he doesnt need to know.
You start to notice he seems needy for attention and doesnt respond well when it isnt forthcoming.
Its once youre in a relationship with him that the real cracks of an insecure man become apparent.
If you dont bend to his wishes, the insecure man responds with anger or resentment.
Me may swear, yell at you or break things to get his way.
He becomes hyper curious or jealous, and wants to know everybody you talk to.
He may be very critical of you.
As time goes on, his external communications to you increasingly reflect his hypercritical inner dialogue.
Im sure youre getting the idea.
Mild insecurity can be dealt with.
Major insecurity is a deal-breaker.
Dont have a go at Love him out of it.
Not that you dont reassure him.
The somewhat insecure guy will need a little more love and reassurance than the average guy.
Its just that you cant be dishing it out at his beck and call.
There comes a point when youve got to let him deal with it himself.
This cannot work long-term and is a pattern you dont want to start.
An example would be when a man says You MADE me jealous by flirting with that guy.
Or Im only checking up on you because I love you.
Dont you want that?
Remember, his insecurity isnt your problem to solve.
Hes doesnt get free rights to your phone, your email, and your Facebook when he wants.
These are skills hes going to need if hes to build and have a fulfilling relationship with you.
you gotta call a spade a spade.
He has to acknowledge his insecurities to have a chance of tackling them.
Are you willing to do this and work on learning to trust me?
Watch how he responds.
Is he able to acknowledge his insecurity and take responsibility for his behavior?
Does he agree to work on things with you?
His answers tell a lot about his suitability as a long-term partner.
I feel like theyre making things worse.
The insecure episodes are more frequent… wouldnt it just be easier to be open and show/tell him everything?
The answer is no.
The more you feed his insecurity by complying with his every wish, the more it grows.
Again, reassure him without being excessive.
Can you have a happy relationship with an insecure man?
Your chances are good if his insecurity is mild.
