Basketcase559
What do Winnie the Pooh and Alexander the great have in common?Same middle name!
Faceripperchimp
Whats the difference between a bird and a fly?
A bird can fly but a fly cant bird.
betterhandleneeded
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?Bison.
tklfillerz
Guess what?What?Good guess.
EmberedAccountant
Fish swimming upriver and bumps his head.Dam.
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Stanky_sock
What do you call a fish with no eyes?Fsh.
therowdyism
This is my step ladder.
chickenwing95
You want to hear a clean joke?
A man took a bath with bubbles.Want to hear the dirty joke?
Bubbles is a man.
ienjoypoopingstuff
Whats red and smells like blue paint?Red paint.
ounerify
Why dont ants get sick?Because they have little anty-bodies.
She still isnt talking to me.
Rndomguytf
Whats orange and sounds like a parrot?A carrot.
bonster85
A plateau is the highest form of flattery.
BCFIVEK
I went to a zoo but there was only one dog in it.
It was a Shitzu.
IAmSomewhatHappy
A guy was throwing money into an outhouse.
Another guy comes up and asks, What the hell are you doing?
GimpyTreat
Why did the old lady fall in the well?Because she didnt see that well.
CruiseVein
Two cannibals sit around a campfire.
One says Man, I hate my mother-in-law.The other one says, Well, then, try the potatoes.
RavenousPikachu
I tried to work in an orange juice factory but I couldnt concentrate.
psych_professor
A blind man walks into a bar…then a table, a chair, and a woman.
Galkzo
What did the baby computer say to the father computer…?Data.
Mattack98
There are two muffins baking in an oven.
The first muffin says, Man, it sure is hot in here.
The second muffin says, Holy shit, a talking muffin!
themickle
A Mexican magician tells his audience he will disappear on three.
So he says, Uno…dos… POOF!
LOOKATMEDAMMIT
How do you spot Ronald McDonald at a nudist colony?Look for the sesame seed buns.
Where did Billy go when the building exploded?
xXKiller_MemestarXx
Why did the duck cross the road?It was stapled to the chicken.
imnotmeoryou
What do you call a black astronaut?
An astronaut, you racist!
AlphaQUp_Bish
What do you call cheese that isnt yours?Nacho cheese.
jmremote
Whats the difference between a boner and a Ferrari?I dont have a Ferrari.
pootiel0ver
Yo mamas so fat that when she hauls ass she has to take 2 trips.
Beanyurza
Ask me if Im a rock.Are you a rock?Yes.
Now, ask me if Im a tree.Are you a tree?No, Im a rock, dumbass.
batatasta
Whats red and bad for your teeth?
DarkMarcy
A man walks into a bar.Ouch!
It was a metal bar.
Sarcastic_Santa
Whats the difference between a refrigerator and a monkey?
Refrigerators cant climb trees.
FusRoDont
Why do firemen wear red suspenders?
To hold their pants up.
afoste83
Why cant dinosaurs clap their hands?Because theyre dead.
FlibbertPlays
How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
