Sloths spend 90% of their lives motionless, which means they are slightly more productive than you.
1.Sloths spend 90% of their lives motionless, which means they are slightly more productive than you.
2.Mosquitos are as insignificant and unimportant as you but at least people notice when theyre around.
Jamie Street
3.Female praying mantises often eat the head of the male after sex.
It must be reassuring to know if you were a praying mantis youd live to a ripe old age.
4.The fact that jellyfish have survived for 600 million year without a brain gives you hope.
7.Ive seen ostriches with better calves than you.
8.Its a common misconception that moths are attracted to light.
But like the moths perspective, you only look pretty from a distance.
9.The Mayfly has a lifespan of just 24 hours.
I never thought I could envy them, until I met you.
11.You fuck like a Panda.
12.Some people say the Cheetah is the fastest animal.
Some say it is the Peregrine Falcon.
But every girl I know say it is you in the bedroom.
13.Your mind is screwier than a ducks penis.
14.Youre doing an amazing job of showing up turtles.
They can only breath out their ass, you’ve got the option to have a whole conversation.
15.You have the same amount of chins that a cow has stomachs.
16.Are you a donkey?
Because you look like an ass.
17.I would insult your mom but cows are sacred in my country.
19.You know, beached whales usually die on the shore.
Im surprised you made it this far inland.
20.If you were in a sandbox, my cat would take a stab at bury you.
21.You murdered the conversation/joke so well that vultures already flock to the stink.
22.I wish you were like the luna moth, born without a mouth and going to die very soon.
23.I would hit you, but that would be animal abuse.
24.Insulting you by calling you a pig would be an insult to the pigs.
26.Horses cannot vomit, but Im sure looking at you makes them want to.
27.An ostrichs eyes are bigger than its brain… so youre not the only one dumbass!
28.Youve had fewer sexual partners than a monogamous penguin.
29.You look how a skunk stinks.
30.Youve got about as much spine as a cephalopod.
31.Youre an example of why animals eat their young.
32.What are you going to do for a face when the baboon wants his ass back?
33.You are dumber and more syphilitic than a koala.
34.Chameleons developed camouflage to hide from prey is a common misconception.
They actually saw your face and needed to hide from that abomination.
36.You are nuttier than squirrel shit.
37.You have the spine of hagfish, the brain of a sea cucumber and the personality of a pearlfish.
38.Slugs have four noses, meaning they would probably die if they got close enough to smell your bullshit.
39.The male angler fish lives its life attached to the female, serving as a living reproductive organ.
40.An elephant would forget you.
41.And here I thought the platypus was the only duck faced, poisonous mammal.
43.You spread more shit than a hippos tail.
45.You spread your opinion like a Hippopotamus does its dung.
However, your opinion is far less pleasant.
46.Not even a dog would love you.
48.Norway knighted a penguin, what have you done with your life?
49.A female hyena probably has a bigger dick that you.
50.I cant trust a thing you say, youve got more faces than Wombat crap.
