Every time you want to say sorry, say thank you.
Thank you for waiting for me.
Thank you for understanding.
Emilio Machado
Thank you for talking to me.
Do this especially for small traits, or particular aspects of an area they might not excel in.
For example, someone you dont find attractive may still have a cute nose, or nice hair.
Someone you find annoying may have a friendly attitude, or admirable confidence.
Would you hate another person, a classmate, a stranger, whatever, for it?
If not, why do you hateyourselffor it?
Of course, there ARE things about you that are unpleasant, everybody has flaws.
But for that very reason its okay to have them.
Could be: I needed sleep, and now Im revived!
I really hate my hair today, it doesnt ever look nice!
Could be: My skin is very soft today!
Every time you want to say sorry, say thank you.
Thank you for waiting for me.
Thank you for understanding.
Thank you for talking to me.
7.When you have a negative thought about yourself, take it and ask three questions: is it true?
If it isnt at least one of those (especially the first one) then its safe to toss.
Dont just go of course [horrible thing about me] is true because Im horrible, either.
Actually look at it.
Somedays it may only be my warm covers and clean undies, but its something!
And be nice to yourself, dont say mean things in your head about yourself.
Its like a mantra; saying nice things, thinking nice things, takes effort.
But each day is a new day, with a new start!
The beginnings of assertiveness goes a long way to becoming self-confident.
11.Pretend that youre confident, even if it feels fake.
Tell yourself that youre good at whatever youre engaged in and that you could do anything.
12.Very often people will respond to you in the way you come at them.
When you see someone, smile as though their presence makes you happy (not crazy happy.
Regular, low-key happy).
This reaction will make them subconsciously feel happy to see you.
Ask them how theyre doing.
Smiling will actually make you feel better.
If you force yourself to smile, the first second may feel weird but then it will become real.
no social interaction is a huge deal unless you make it a huge deal.
13.Exercise: but take the time to find what you like.
Same with core fitness classes.
Look for something positive, the one thing about yourself that doesnt make you upset.
Doing this every single day legitimately makes such a big improvement on self image.
Then eating more fruits and less complex carbs (pasta, burgers, cereal) also helps.
Drinks more water and going for a walk.
Admitting you need someone to talk to and help you is a small step that will work wonders.
Join something that makes the world a better place in some way.
17.Pay attention to what you tell to yourself.
Youll be very surprised and saddened to realize what you tell yourself all day long.
Once youve observed long enough, start talking back and dont let yourself get away with bad talk.
Its a habit just like everything else.
The next step would be working towards something that you desire.
Choose one and just start taking small steps towards it.
20.For me it was wearing makeup less frequently.
Everyone lives in their own head and is just as messed up as you think you are.
Get a grip and breathe.
Be true to yourself.
I think a good first step is figuring out your values.
Whats most important to you.
24.Get rid of toxic people.
All of them, even if they are the closest to you.
25.Keep your room, apartment, or home clean and tidy.
26.Start making outrageous jokes about how great you are.
At the very least avoid negative self talk at all costs.
27.Say one good thing you did today and put it in a jar.
Do this everyday for a month and then read them.
28.Get a good haircut.
Starting small helped me work up to the bigger things like going out more, losing weight, etc.
Knowing yourself and your body is important.
30.I would recommend putting yourself in non-serious social situations.
BS with a person at the park or at a patron at a restaurant you never visit.
Perhaps volunteer at a place for a day.
Use a fake name with a simple engineered backstory behind it if you feel shy.
If the attempt fails, they dont know your real name.
Think of it like a real world sandbox you’ve got the option to play in.
Eventually you will gain confidence by being immersed in this environment.
Confidence is a large part of how you end up feeling about yourself at the end of the day.
31.Telling yourself its okay to make mistakes in social tweaks.
You meant to say hello + howre you doing?
and it comes out sounding hellre you doing?
Its okay, everyone does it.
You wave at someone and they dont see it so youre waving awkwardly at nothing?
Itll feel stupid, but it works.
Ive done it many times in a crowded mall.
Its okay to goof up and make mistakes.
Also, wearing a nice perfume.
33.The best course of action is probably to find a therapist to help you work on it.
Or at least help you into a better head space to deal with it.
34.Years ago what helped me was meditation.
I would visually step outside myself and look at me and my life from the third person perspective.
36.Long hair to trendy short hair.
Is what i did as a 16yo.
Instant 200% confidence boost.
37.Be sure to know that nobody gives a damn about you.
Not your co-workers, boss, even friends.
They dont go home thinking about you.
They have their own lives.
Escape routine, spend time alone, watch people.
Were all delicate and complex.
Understand that youre just one more story to this world.
If you untie some thoughts youll manage yourself better.
Live like no one is watching.
So my homework that week was to ask them.
It was really anxiety-provoking, so I only asked two of them who Ive known for years.
Even though I hate myself, there are other people who dont, and 2.
I do have positive qualities, they are just hard for me to see.
39.This may sound hokey, but it really worked for me and my little brother.
40.Clean the kitchen sink.
It takes a moment, you feel better about yourself and feel inspired to do more.
41.Im being completely serious and non-ironic, but you have to remember that youre the sperm that made it.
Remind yourself of that and go face your fears.
Thats how I get through my insecurities.
It worked for me.
I wear what I want to wear and as long as Im comfortable I dont care what they think.
Has made a huge difference for me.
44.I used to have super low self esteem.
Someone introduced me to a game that they played when they were out called, Im glad Im me.
Youd be surprised how much you say it.
Itdrasticallyimproved my self esteem.
Something you like, and find others who like it too.
Doesnt matter which hobby.
46.I had an affirmation that was taped to the mirror in my bathroom.
The past is gone, all of my actions from this point forward will be the right ones.
48.For me digging out of my hole started with:
Getting regular hair cuts.
Washing my face and clearing up my skin.
Washing my hair regularly.
Eating better, not expensive, just better.
49.Honestly its hard, really hard.
But you better put yourself in uncomfortable situations for starters.
Its almost like a shock therapy sort of thing.you oughta be able to interact with people with confidence.
And confidence is very hard to build, its almost like leveling in a video game.
Pursue the things you want even if theyre hard to get.
Dont loose your time expecting things to be easy, everything that is worth is hard to get.
Thats the mentality I had to change.
Stop expecting things to get easy and just work.
