Maintain your outside friendships.
It is super easy to start spending every last second together.
2.Have your own spaces.
Toa Heftiba
Feeling like youve lost independence can mess with a relationship.
3.My husbands advice: Get ready to change a little bit.
Living with someone requires you to change some habits.
Youre going to have to compromise, and thats okay.
Your day to day life is going to change, and thats okay too.
My advice: let the little things go as often as it’s possible for you to.
Changing your habits is REALLY HARD.
And, ideally, your partner will be doing those little things for you, too.
My husband hates it when I leave my shoes in the living room.
I promise Im not doing it on purpose, I just cant seem to remember.
He consistently forgets to lock the front door.
But Ill lock it for him, because hes carrying my shoes to the closet for me.
4.Find ways to be thankful for the things the other person does.
My GF sets up my coffee in the morning so all I have to do is turn it on.
Such a small thing but I see to it to thank her all the time.
I try and do small things like that for her too.
It matters in the long run.
5.Fair doesnt necessarily mean equal.
Communicate early and often.
6.Inevitably youll discover annoying habits about your SO that you never noticed before.
In the grand scheme of things it doesnt matter if the toothpaste is squeezed from the top or bottom.
We realized we only kept them because houses are supposed to have living rooms with couches.
We got rid of them and now use that room all the time for yoga and crafts and sexcapades.
We finally realized having separate blankets wouldnt separate us, and now were both warm and happy.
For us, somehow scheduled sex became the key to spontaneous sex too.
Maintenance people look at us weird and our families laughed at us, but for us it works!
Youre adults, which means you dont have to play adult- just do whatever tf you want to do!
9.Have separate blankets and sheets at least.
My S/O and I actually have separate beds in the same room.
I use a CPAP and she has an oxygen line, plus we have 4 dogs.
Nothing will ruin you relationship faster than shitty sleep.
On the sleep note, LET EACH OTHER SLEEP!
If youre feeling lonely and your partner is sleeping, go do something that doesnt bother them.
Maintain your outside friendships.
It is super easy to start spending every last second together.
If you had buddies you hung out with, keep hanging out with them.
LISTEN to each other.
Stop and think about what the other person is really saying when you do this.
It takes work to make someones already existing home into a home for another person.
11.Discuss the possibility of having pets, what types, and who will take care of them.
12.Come into it as roommates.
Second, talk with each other about how youd like to keep the place.
Things like how you keep your kitchen can be a small thing that turns huge.
Likewise with the bathroom and bedroom.
see to it your living styles are compatible.
Remember, you are partners, equals, and roommates, as well as significant others.
Treat each other accordingly.
I was in charge of making dinner every day when I lived with my ex.
He does a lot of the outdoor work, but I still help out with it.
Be prepared to make sacrifices, and know when to hold the line.
Not every hill needs to defended to the death.
15.Be patient for the first few months.
Its a big adjustment.
I also want to say dont rush moving in together.
Get to know the person first.
People are on their best behavior at the beginning of the relationship.
16.Your girlfriend does not replace your mom or become your housekeeper.
Pick up after yourself.
17.Realize that living together doesnt necessarily mean you have to be up each others ass 24/7.
19.You should…
Get the biggest bed you’ve got the option to afford/fit in your space.
Check in with each other before going to take a shower.
shut the goddamn cabinet doors & drawers.
Get into the habit.
Have a frank conversation regarding pillow expectations.
Accept that one person may require far more pillows than the other person.
Be cognizant of the noise you make.
What did I do wrong?!
That doesnt mean slapping on a happy face.
Keep your money separate.
Give each other alone time in the house.
Everyone needs a little alone time in their own home.
Be that persons best friend.
21.Enjoy the small stuff, get comfortable, but never too comfortable.
Always keep going on dates, even if you both enjoy being at home with each other.
Always keep some privacy.
Dont fall into a situation youd rather not be in if things didnt end up working out.
confirm you still have your independence and dont rely on each other too much.
23.Leave your parents out of the home relationship, including and not limited to not living with their parents.
Just dont do it.
24.Dont aim for you to both put in 50%.
If you strive to put in 75%, youre probably doing your fair share.
I swear the secret to a happy marriage is your own personal poop room.
Everyone has true own toothbrush right?
So everyone should have their own toilet.
Well, unless you both have a poop-kink, then I dont have any advice for you.
Oh, and a solid understanding on the division of labor.
Who is going to wash the dishes and do the cooking?
Who is going to take out the trash?
Oh, and if you ever catch yourself manipulating your partner, check yourself right away.
That is never good.
26.Understand that your happiness is not your SOs responsibility.
Bring as much joy into your SOs life as possible.
27.At first you will be in each others face 24/7, which isnt good.
But then you start to take that for granted.
Next thing you know you stop making time for each other because youre both right there.
Agree a recurring date night, and set some ground rules.
It will get you used to communicating well, and taking turns contributing to the health of your relationship.
28.Better talk about religion and children before taking that step.
Ive seen both break up a lot of couples.
29.You two are a team.
You look out for each other the same way you would look out for yourself.
Teamwork means building on each others strengths and doing dirty, uncomfortable work for each other without hesitation.
Its been four years of adventure so far, hoping to break my parents still-climbing record.
30.Clean up after yourself.
31.Always, and I mean ALWAYS, put the toilet seat down.
32.Be intentional about it.
What it means for your relationship, how youll handle finances and chores.
Life will always give you reasons to fight, you decide how you react.
Work as a team.
Have a safe word.
34.Get two comforters for your bed.
35.If youre with the right person, living together will just feel right.
Itll be better than any roommate youve had before and better than living alone.
You will look forward to seeing their face at the end of your work day.
If you dont have this, maybe reconsider.
36.Dont say anything in the heat of the moment if you dont know whats really bugging you.
Also always remember the way in which your partner loves to be shown love.
37.Split whatever money is left after bills, savings and household budgeting (food etc.)
50/50 to personal accounts.
38.You are a team.
If one of you cooks, the other does the dishes.
Feelings are so important, and being honest can resolve so many little issues.
Just one person doing it wont be enough.
Talk openly about where you are and work with each other.
When my husband and I first moved in together our finances were a mess.
Things have to be split equally.
One Pearson paying 70% of the bulls and food isnt fair and builds resentment.
One person doing all the chores also builds resentment.
You dont need to hangout together 24/7.
Not being able to do the things you used to builds resentment.
So if things dont work out you dont have to stress about the lease or having to move.
46.Just because you live together doesnt mean it’s crucial that you spend every second in each others presence.
Feel free to have decompression time when either of you comes home.
Be super honest and open about this.
Discuss how food and cooking will work, how cleaning will work, how laundry will work.
Presumably you know how clean the other person is.
If theyre messy theyre not going to suddenly become a cleaning machine or vice versa.
Dont expect a clean freak to relax or for a slob to be spotless.
Its not going to happen.
If youre moving in, have that very awkward and very necessary conversation about finances.
Lay everything out and know where you are starting from.
Regularly check in and make new goals together.
47.I would recommend moving into a new place also, not into one of your existing places.
Its the worst trying to be alone in a bachelor apt with no other rooms in it.
Just my experience anyways
48.Dont say its only for a month.
Its never forjusta month.
All because my partner gave me a place to stay for a month back in 2009.
49.Realize you both will likely require alone time every once and a while.
My boyfriend is pretty introverted and needs a fair amount of alone time.
This is why we got a 2 bedroom apartment.
It works well for us.
We considered a studio at one point and are really glad we didnt end up getting that one.
50.Dont stress about the small things.
The small things they do that annoy you?
Yeah, you do them too.
