Force/guilt their kids into hugging/kissing/touching people.
1.Punishing them for doing something good.
This highlights the fact that they were in their room and will worsen social anxiety in the future.
Annie Spratt
2.Praising them for their intelligence, rather than for working hard.
They learn that their worth is based on this intelligence and that its the thing that generated success.
Now they are questioning their self worth.
If intelligence was what led to success, and now Im failing, that makes me a failure.
3.Using your kids as therapists.
My mother has always relied on me to talk out everything that happens to her.
4.Make promises they dont keep.
6.Arguing in front of each other, as well as with other people constantly.
7.Compare them to other better kids.
9.Not respecting a child/teens privacy.
Yes, kids will do things wrong but not every secret they keep is something negative.
Treating everything a child keeps from an adult as something bad will bring on trust issues later in life.
Personal growth is something that is learned and it takes mistakes to accomplish this.
10.Vandalizing their kid/teens privacy, like reading their journals and going through their phone without their consent.
11.Overemphasizing the importance of grades.
12.Setting them up to have an unhealthy relationship with food.
13.Going from 0 to 100 on anger scale for small things.
No way the kid will function normally if (s)he thinks thats normal.
The child is left alone, trying to figure out whats going on in their parents head.
16.Take their anger out on their kids and never apologize for it.
17.Berate and belittle them when opening up.
Then wonder why, as adults, they dont call you or answer your calls.
18.Constantly repeating the same lecture over and over again as if Ive never heard it.
Like mom I get it, you were once poor.
Even if I occasionally dont finish my food, that doesnt mean Im ungrateful.
Or indicate theyre horn dogs or constantly thinking about sex.
Shy people are built with this shit.
21.Tell their kids that when they misbehave or mess up it makes them (the parents) look bad.
Is this something shed be proud of?
Uggggh
22.Tell them to be honest then punish the child when they are.
23.attempt to make their kids little versions of themselves.
You were not cloned you made a person with there own thoughts feelings and ideas of success.
24.Force/guilt their kids into hugging/kissing/touching people.
There is almost always a reason why little Jimmy doesnt want to touch grandpa.
25.Giving a kid anything they want.
Long story short: be hard on your kids.
26.Treating waiters/retail workers like shit and/or whining like babies at said places whenever anything doesnt go their way.
27.Blaming every character or physical flaw on the kids hobbies and activities and completely ignoring genetic and environmental factors.
They dont listen when I argue otherwise.
28.Using gifts and basic necessities against them as guilt.
Or expecting you to agree to do whatever they ask because they bought you something for a holiday.
29.This isnt a big screw up, but freaking out every time a young kid gets a bit hurt.
If their parents are worried, they believe they should be worried as well.
If their parents arent worried, they wont cry.
Over time, these reactions will become internalized and will develop similar responses to stress when they get older.
If theres no gap, then theyre truly hurt and need attention right away.
Alcohol and pot are things to use with respect and moderation.
Teach your kids when enough is enough early.
31.Not make time for them.
32.Isolate them from other kids for years by homeschooling them and not socializing.
Fucked me pretty good for a while.
33.Acting like their kids opinions dont matter just because they dont agree with it.
Be a person and treat them like a person and have a conversation.
35.Force them into religion.
38.Comment on their weight or appearance.
39.Put an iPad or something similar in their hands to shut them up.
40.Hitting them and not teaching them empathy or emotional intimacy.
Both of those things have royally fucked me up in a fair few ways.
41.Zero chores or pressure ever… then they move out and cant handle themselves.
42.Leaving for extended periods when angry.
43.Forcing them to do their dream career when the child does not like it.
44.Removing any obstacles in their way that might otherwise help them learn and grow.
45.Punishment for honest accidents, accusing them of not caring if they forget about something.
People forget, kids forget, it doesnt mean you dont care.
46.Slut shaming a girl when shes a virgin and knows absolutely NOTHING about how a girl gets pregnant.
Causes a lot of fights and misunderstandings.
Dont drink around your kids.
50.Emphasize success over happiness, and happiness over meaning.
