The overly firm handshake is always annoying.
1.I hear a lot of dudes that brag about how many hours they work in a day or week.
Like… sorry that you have poor work/life balance and time management skills?
Sharon Garcia
How are you expecting me to react?
2.Make fun of the way I take my coffee.
I hate the toxic shit whereunless you drink it black, youre not a real man.
Like BITCH ILL DRINK IT HOW EVER I DAMN WELL LIKE!
3.Pee super forcefully directly into the water, so that the lesser males know how powerful my stream is.
Shits weird and I now perceive you as insecure.
Because dick size has nothing to do with dominance.
6.Was out having a drink.
Started chatting to the guy next to me when I learn he, too, is a musician.
He then tells me: Youre not a musician.
Ok dude come down off your ego trip, christ.
7.I had someone stand on their tippy toes to seem taller when we where talking.
8.When asked about what his hobbies are, he responded with Hobbies are for children and single women.
9.Was on a 4 hour flight.
In a 2 person row.
The guy demanded to have full access to the middle armrest.
Would push my arm off it if I ever got near it.
I think hed gotten some bad advice about having confidence.
I laughed but our HR manager flipped her shit.
The only time I have ever seen her call security.
You drinkthatpiss, you pussy?
and it goes downhill from there.
Drink what you like and shut up.
13.Generally guys purposely bumping into you when you walk past them, especially if theyre with friends.
It could be 7 AM or Midnight but it wouldnt matter to him.
I could be walking to my car and here comes Mr. Globogym flexing all around his yard.
He would immediately go back inside when I went back inside.
He did have pretty sweet pecs though.
15.The overly firm handshake is always annoying.
17.Recently got my first tattoo.
Its a small, minimalistic one.
Reason hes making fun of it is his arm is filled with big, detailed tattoos.
He clearly felt I was somehow inferior due to my small tattoo.
The first time he did it I just thought it was accidental.
Then I could see it was what he was trying to do.
I ended up telling the dude to fuck off and the situation de-escalated from there.
19.A guy was mad at me while sitting at a light and was revving his engine.
The dummy blew his engine.
20.Total bro around you and your friends.
He claimed he was measured at the NFL combine at 60. we were the same height.
He just kept yelling Im 6 foot, Im 6 foot, bitch at me.
Im legit 62 but this guy was just not having it.
Like dude, why are you selling yourself 2 inches short?
It was such an odd and unprompted interaction.
22.Talked about the MBA program at his Alma mater was superior to where I was getting my MBA.
23.Not letting go of a handshake.
Its happened a few times and always make me wanna treat it as a hostile action.
Last time it happened I just started caressing their hand with my finger and the guy jerked away.
I winked at him after.
I flipped him off without even looking at him and he yelled bitch!
How petty do you have to be to tell someone minding their own business that theyre ugly?
He was like, literally leaning over me because he was 68.
Anyways he quit
26.Im not a fan of the shoulder touch.
If its a close friend giving advice, its reassuring.
Every person whos done that is trying to sell me on something and I HATE being hustled.
Id smile and nod and be polite.
27.Challenge me to fight over a girl.
Yeah man, thats how this works.
you’re free to totally win a girl in a fight.
I was fairly oblivious and didnt realise this was a failed alpha move.
Apparently she quite liked him up until that point, so he kinda shot himself in the foot.
He put on the child locks, I couldnt get out.
30.Just shove me out of nowhere without absolutely no context whatsoever.
Basically, high school all over again.
32.Was at a party and was given the task of handing out beers to people.
This guy flipped a shit, screaming saying he only drink REAL beer.
Dude, it was cold and free, that is the best beer there is.
34.A friend of mine would be obsessed about making sure his voice sounded deep enough when talking to others.
He drives a 15 year old Jetta.
We both came to that agreement, it just works easiest.
That includes covering eating out to a reasonable amount, and then Ill chip in.
Instead of putting up a fuss, I just covered the $10 or whatever it cost.
38.In college, we were having a conversation about which animals we thought closely matched our personalities.
39.Threatened to beat me up if I so much as look at his girlfriend again.
His girlfriend was my sister.
I maintained eye contact whilst laughing, as she dumped him on the spot.
40.In college, I got into an elevator and was followed in by a younger guy I didnt know.
Fair enough, he had a military, jumbo pack.
Couldve easily gone on a hike/camp with it.
Weird flex as the kids say.
41.That one guy who refuses to walk on the correct side of the hall/lane/aisle/etc.
Like, do you drive on the wrong side of the road, too?
I didnt care but then he just stared at me straight in the eyes and walks into a tree.
He shut up and left after that.
44.Had a dude get mad at me for talking to his girl all the time.
I was her Econ tutor.
It was clear he super drunk and immediately got aggressive.
Everyone agrees he needs to grow up.
He would just stand in the way and refuse to move.
Even if he wasnt in the way he would purposely get in the way.
I work in a narrow kitchen so it’s possible for you to imagine how annoying that could be.
At one particular moment I was carrying a bulky 20 lbs box and he decided to do that.
I pretended to not see him and barreled into him.
He fell over and got incredibly mad at me.
Started talking about how I have no muscle.
It was pretty funny.
It was a display of the most fragile masculinity Ive ever seen.
It was such a funny stereotype maneuver.
49.Worked as a lifeguard at a summer camp years ago.
(During training there was a sandbag we had to find.)
Were theoretically looking for a drowned child right now.
50.He tried to drink water faster than me.
No one drinks water faster than me.
