When the connection between two people is genuine and strong, playing games just doesnt even make any sense.
Sometimes we crave Oreo Thins, other times Double Stuf.
We might want pumpkin spice ones around Halloween and peppermint bark ones for Christmas.
Photo byEdward CisnerosonUnsplash
At each stage in our lives, we seek out different kinds of relationships with different people.
Here are a few indicators of the kind of relationship that feeds the soul.
You dont have to play games.
If we miss them, we stop ourselves from telling them because it might seem too clingy.
I once briefly dated someone who would only text me once a week to set up a date.
Safe to say, that relationship didnt last very long.
This dude was what is called a breadcrumber.
At least not emotionally.
Im a firm believer that real love and emotional intimacy dont operate in these tactical ways.
When the connection between two people is genuine and strong, playing games just doesnt even make any sense.
Youre not afraid to speak your truth.
You both come from a place of honesty, authenticity, and strength.
They make you feel seen.
Dating apps have become the epitome of superficiality.
We swipe left or right onpeoplebased on some pictures and a few words theyve written about themselves.
Its made us forget the fact that it takes time and effort to build something real with one person.
Weve become unduly preoccupied with external characteristics.
The reality of the matter is that there are a lot of ugly beautiful people weve all met them.
And that kind of beauty fades away real quick.
And the more you fall in love with someone, the more you see that.
Beauty is about so much more than just looks.
Attraction comes from the tiniest little nuances of a persons behavior, mannerisms, and ways of thinking.
The right relationship will make you feel seen for all that you are.
If it doesnt feel vulnerable, the sharing is probably not constructive.
Letting someone into those dark, gruesome places that we feel are undesirable is an act of immense courage.
Thats the stuff that real love is made of.
Thats true connection and empathy.
Also, how someones moment of vulnerability is received says worlds about the other person.
I care about whats in here, you understand?
And I will never forget the way my heart overflowed with emotion for him in that moment.
The right person will see your monsters and think theyre beautiful anyway.
You dont feel pressured to rush into sex as a way of keeping them.
Thats why I prefer to wait to build a strong emotional connection and intimacy first before getting physical.
Women are just more sensitive to relationship-quality issues than are men.
I think part of it is that we want to beseen,like I mentioned earlier.
At least, not if what were seeking is a long-term relationship with a loving and trusting partner.
Everybody has their own convictions when it comes to a delicate subject like sex.
Im not telling anybody when they should and shouldnt have it.
They stick to their word.
It sounded like the most romantic first date.
And judging by my friends experiences, I know Im not the only one.
Because as Gordon B. Hinckley says, In all this world there is no substitute for personal integrity.
It includes keeping ones word.
Someone who breaks the promises they make to you also likely breaks the promises they make to themselves.
That means doing the things we say were going to do.
Its hard to respect a person who doesnt respecthimselfenough to follow through.
Trust is one of the pillars the foundation of any healthy relationship is built on.
How can you devote yourself to someone you cant rely on or respect?
I dont think thats anyones idea of the ideal relationship.
The Commitment Talk is not a difficult one to have.
Different relationships develop at different rates.
Not surprisingly, that relationship ended with him cheating on me.
But it felt ridiculously natural and effortless.
The where is this going?
conversation can be such a confusing and difficult one to have in certain relationships.
If it is, I think thats a sign to maybe reevaluate the situation from a more objective standpoint.
Because a relationship in which one person is invested more than the other cannot be a meaningful one.
When two people are truly all in, they have no doubts that they want to be together.
Relationships are complex and none are perfect.
