It isnt easy, it wont be easy for you.
By
Updated 6 years ago,April 22, 2019
Ive never loved anyone the way I loved him.
But with him it was entirely different- it was pure and piercing and breathtaking.
Thiago Matos
I became an entirely new individual capable of so many things.
But, sometimes, forever is much shorter than we anticipate.
I thought it would break me.
I thought this would be the thing I didnt recover from.
I didnt know if healing was a possibility.
But oddly enough, a little bit later, I feel good.
Like, really good.
Even with the slip-ups, even with the dips in my internal emotional battle.
The idea that I can be anything and anyone I want is my forever.
I am my forever.
And thats what I need.
Now, the key part of this tip is the for a bit part.
You cant wallow forever.
Youre better than that, and frankly, it wont do anything for you.
This stage isnt forever, and it wont even be for very long.
But youhaveto do it.
It will hurt the most.
But it will make everything else heal easier.
Find the circle of people that are invested in you making it through this process, fully.
Youll know these people when you see them.
Sometimes, they are newer faces.
A lot of times, they are people that have been and will always be around.
Value these people, treat them well, and listen to what they have to say.
When you find therightpeople to surround yourself with it sort of springboards your processing.
It pushes you to move forward and get to a healthier spot.
Give yourself a little grace when you, inevitably, mess up.
This can look like a lot of things.
Allow yourself the space to be angry, but do not let it consume you.
This one is a little different than the first tip, as anger is its own stage entirely.
There is a day, a comment, a look, or an interaction that triggers it.
All of a sudden a massive raging fire burns up from your belly and threatens to eat you alive.
I know youll want to let it, you trick yourself into thinking fire and anger means power.
That would certainly be easier.
But dont let it become you, and dont let it burn the other person.
Doesnt matter what they did to you; all that action would do is make you look ugly.
Theres no point in that.
Not when youve come this far.
Be realistic about where you are at and what it’s possible for you to handle.
Pride is your biggest enemy through all of this, or at least it is for me.
Need to delete their number?
Need to delete your social media to clear your head?
Finally, accept your circumstances.
No matter what they are.
It doesnt always convince me, but a lot of times it helps.
So dont let it.
Fully stretch out what happened in front of you, and bit by bit make peace with it.
The truth of the matter is- it already happened.
You cant change it; you willneverbe able to change it.
The literal only thing you might do is accept it and move on.
There isnt anything in this piece that will heal your hurt and mend your wounds.
Theres a hope, there is always a hope that the next day will get better.
If you let it, I believe it will be better.
It will take time.
It will take control.
But it’s possible for you to do it.
You have to do it.
There is no other way.
