The concept of success is up to ourselves to fill in.
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Updated 6 years ago,August 13, 2019
1.
The concept of success is up to ourselves to fill in.
Daria Shevtsova
For the longest of time, I thought that there was only one definition of the word success.
Which means to study hard, get a prestige job and earn tons of money.
I thought it was what everything thought that it was the way to become a successful person.
But instead, I ended up miserable and felt lost about my own identity.
Success through my eyes couldnt be any more different than my parents.
Expressing feelings of hurt doesnt make you a weak person.
I came from a household where we put anything underneath the table which makes us uncomfortable.
We hold feelings in and gulped down the tears when we feel the urge to cry.
Because crying is considered a sign of weakness.
Growing up around my parents composed facades put pressure on me to be composed as well.
I wanted to be strong as well, I wanted them to think Im strong as well.
It felt like I was living a double life and that my parents didnt know who I really am.
Expressing feelings is what makes life worth to live.
It is what makes us vulnerable towards each other to truly connect with one another.
The ones who arent afraid to voice their struggles arent weak.
On the contrary, people who express their feelings are really the strong ones.
There are different ways to show love.
Asking have you eaten?
is a way to show that they care.
Birthdays were celebrated with tons of food and having dinner means having family quality time.
I learned that there are many different ways to show that you care or love someone.
I learned that tough love is also love and that there isnt one correct way to show love.
You are not an extension of your parents.
Even if you are the child of your parents doesnt automatically mean that you are an extension of them.
Parents are here to guide and to help, but eventually, we are our own person.
We are individuals with our own dreams.
We have our own things we like to do.
Parents cant mold you into a mini version of themselves that they have in mind.
Mental health is just as important as physical health.
Mental health is a non-existent topic in the household that I grew up with.
Their generation didnt learn much about mental health and viewed it as a unnecessary state that someone is having.
I learned that having a healthy body means nothing when our mind is ill.
This largely has to do with our culture.
Saving face makes up a big part of our culture.
Which means honesty is not always appreciated in certain circumstances.
I learned that sometimes it is better to tell things someone wants to hear instead of being honest.
